tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24793343107555905912024-03-17T20:03:48.650-07:00Dream ForgingCreativity, Communication, Confidence.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.comBlogger239125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-41815064472435678892016-05-26T06:21:00.000-07:002016-05-26T06:21:55.653-07:00It turns out I like the flurry - tending to stay in motionYesterday was a crazy day in my life. I had to complete two vastly different projects. First, I was presenting my "Let's Talk Clouds" workshop at a local middle school.<br />
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As the Earth Lady, I work with schools to help students jump-start their interest in science, specifically Earth Science.<br />
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Then, I switched gears and released my interactive Tarot reading ebook. As part of the project, I had to finish the programming, create the cover, and upload the entire thing to amazon. <br />
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I'm excited about this project because it allows the reader to choose a new card every day from a random selector set. Then, the reader sees the interpretation and a special call to action individual to each card. I've been working on the interpretations for years, but I had never figured out exactly how to create the interactive portion of the book.<br />
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And here's how the title of this blog post relates. I didn't try to focus on both projects at once. They are too disparate. As I've gotten older, I've seen the wisdom of limiting multitasking. Although it seems efficient, it isn't. It's a <span data-dobid="hdw">will-o'-the-wisp. It leads you down the primrose path of thinking you are being efficient while all the while your brain is operating at a slower speed and lower level.</span><br />
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Here's what I did do. I completed the workshop with the kids, and I gave it my all. I left it all on the classroom floor, as they say. We had a blast. Their transformation from before the workshop to afterward startled me. They went from post-lunch food coma to shouting about how much fun they'd had in just under 40 minutes. I can't wait to go back.<br />
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And after I got home from the workshop, I jumped into the Today's Tarot project. I created the cover. I finished the programming. I uploaded everything to amazon, and I released the entire thing.<br />
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It was exciting and energizing. I didn't feel my exhaustion until I was finished. And then I dropped like a stone.<br />
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Why did I just write up my entire day for you? Well, it's because I've had a realization. If you work hard, if you commit yourself to excellence on each project, you will succeed. And here's the most important thing. The key to that success lies in maintaining the level of focus and activity on each project while you are working on it. The Law of Inertia comes into play here. "A body at rest tends to stay at rest. A body in motion tends to stay in motion." If we take a lot of time between projects, we will fizzle out on them. If instead, we rev those engines, blast through the projects with full dedication and focus, and only take the foot off the gas for a bit between them, we will fly. And we will fly because we are already in motion. We are already doing and creating so it becomes easier to keep doing and keep creating.<br />
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To refocus my brain on a new project requires almost no time if I do it correctly. I've started taking the time to recharge by doing a quick breathing meditation. It is simple, and the best part? It's only a minute long. I've created a small video of the meditation. The next time you need to recharge between projects, go ahead and try it.<br />
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And let me know how it works.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-86608702075747022072016-05-21T10:02:00.000-07:002016-05-24T15:56:10.556-07:00Course Correcting: Changing Dreams Call For Changing GoalsTonight, I will be creating a brand new vision board. For those who don't know what one is, it is a <span class="_Tgc">focusing tool, usually some sort of paper, that you create to clarify your goals and foci. A physical board can be a piece of paper on which you draw or glue pictures of your goals or dreams. You can also create a Pinterest page with the images that illustrate your vision of what you want to achieve and/or how you want your life to be. It can take whatever form you choose.</span><br />
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<span class="_Tgc">I prefer a physical piece of cardboard or paper onto which I glue my dreams and goals. Tonight, I will take a piece of bright, blue construction paper and glue cut-outs of the pics below onto it. The old board comes down, and the new one replaces it. That's because as my goals shift, as I develop new ideas on how I want to proceed with my life, I create new boards. Some of my images remain constant. For example, my relationship with my husband, and the health and well-being of my critters always have a presence in my board. However, other goals evolve. Some goals grow and take on a bigger importance in my life. Others recede and become either less important or are ones I have achieved and can therefore release.</span><br />
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<span class="_Tgc">Here are today's images. I will explain each, because it helps me solidify in my own mind what I will move towards in the coming visualization cycle.</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bYLf_yslj6o/V0CN4JPsWwI/AAAAAAAABiI/Q4Bu82XiDJMVflC2ahaKSC-DXOsEHJ7XACLcB/s1600/File%2BMay%2B21%252C%2B12%2B31%2B39%2BPM.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="387" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bYLf_yslj6o/V0CN4JPsWwI/AAAAAAAABiI/Q4Bu82XiDJMVflC2ahaKSC-DXOsEHJ7XACLcB/s400/File%2BMay%2B21%252C%2B12%2B31%2B39%2BPM.jpeg" width="400" /> </a></div>
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At the top left is my husband, <b>Rich</b>, on our recent trip to Iceland. I envision even deeper love, laughter, travel and grand adventures for us.</div>
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Next is our fantastic dog, <b>Hatha</b>. His continued health and wellness are part of my goals and dreams.</div>
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To the right of Hatha is the super model and one of my idols, <b>Ashley Graham</b>. She has taken the world by storm. Someday, I'd love to buy her a cup of coffee and chat with her. #beautybeyondsize. </div>
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To the right of Ms. Graham, is an image of <b>a healthy thyroid</b>. I dream of a day when my thyroid is healthy and works at peak efficiency. And I work towards that dream by eating well, releasing stress and doing yoga and/or Tai Chi.</div>
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At the end of the top row is a female <b>martial artist</b> (specifically Tai Chi in this image but any martial arts practice will do). I am a martial artist, and I want to keep deepening that practice either with Tai Chi, which I've been playing for over 20 years or aikido in which I am a black belt but which I have been unable to practice regularly for the last few years.</div>
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The second row shows the covers from my two most recent books, <b>The Fiddler's Talisman</b> and <b>The Piano's Key</b>. I envision these stories going out into the world and igniting the interest of millions of people who love music, magic, fairies, and exciting fantasy stories.</div>
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The next image is of the <b>Earth</b>. I envision continuing and growing my work as the Earth Lady. I will work with students of all ages to help them learn how to be aware of and care for the Earth.</div>
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To the right of the Earth is a not-so-secret dream of having my books be on the <b>New York Times best seller</b> list. The <b>Dream Forging</b> image that appears just below that is about the Dream Forging journal project I'm developing. It will be out in the next few months, and it will help people develop an easy way to determine and forge their dreams.</div>
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I also really want to give <b>TED Talks</b>. I'll do it. This, I promise.</div>
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The next row brings my kitties, <b>Ninja</b>, <b>Pyro</b>, and <b>Kimba</b>, or as I like to refer to them, The Neapolitan Kitties.</div>
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The next two images are of places I want to travel. I have a deep need to hang out on the <b>Amalfi Coast</b>. And I also have a deep need to see <b>bioluminescent algae</b> (this can be in Puerto Rico on the Maldives or any other place in the world I can travel). </div>
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The next image is of something I have wanted to incorporate for a long time - a deep <b>meditation</b> practice. I meditate every day, but I want to get further. I want to delve deeper.</div>
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<span class="_Tgc">The next image is an image I took when Rich and I were on <b>Grand Cayman</b> a few years ago. It highlights play (which I want more of), the turquoise waters of the Caribbean (which I want to visit more often), and Grand Cayman itself to which I want to return sometime very soon.</span><br />
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<span class="_Tgc">The phrases are my mantras. "<b>Go at your own pace but show up</b>" is how I get things done. I might not be the fastest, but I sure will meet everyone at the finish line.</span><br />
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<span class="_Tgc">The last phrase is one I say to myself every morning at the end of my meditation. I envision my day, and yet I remain open to what else might come. So, "<b>This or something better</b>" allows room for something greater than what I visualized. It leaves me room to breathe and expand.</span><br />
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<span class="_Tgc">When I'm done creating the vision board, I will hang it up near my desk. Then, whenever I need inspiration or when I simply need to check in with myself and make sure I am moving towards my dreams, I will be able to look at the board and get immediate feedback on the goals I set up. I allow for the goals to change, sometimes daily, so I can course correct at any time. I can add pictures or remove them. Or, I can do like I will this evening and create an entirely new vision board. This course correction allows me the same freedom that "This or something better" allows. It gives me room to grow.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-9717768449300345692016-04-26T05:25:00.000-07:002016-04-26T05:25:09.052-07:00Voting in Primaries: an excercise in civic responsibilityI'm not going to bore you with a long drawn out write-up. This is an informational post.<br />
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There are a number of primaries today (April 26, 2016). I encourage everyone who is registered to go vote. Please.<br />
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Here is some information on voter registration and how to find your voting locations for all the States holding primaries today.<br />
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Maryland Polling Place Look-up: <a href="http://www.elections.state.md.us/voting/where.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.elections.state.md.us/voting/where.html</a><br />
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A ton of voter information for Delaware: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fivote.de.gov%2F&h=5AQFJv8-NAQH5SPosHx3h5YubhzhfWEfs1fx5j5msUeeZwQ&enc=AZNmDfK8h4LExz0VRiKAXOx2Q_XnQ86x-RottzLKuF7NvlvpW400UKVtezwZrf2wQ4H2F6Q7QJZfvZEgiFiCBp0S0QPhji2IxK8zrS6j9ChlfDH40msRsRksPuNOn2aFrpCIhLpEPTXS-rKB7Jw_3_ZkaAhOnShGJFFsx0XAf9s1TbgfQnflc4Lzt00xz1FjWeU&s=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ivote.de.gov/</a><br />
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Connecticut Voter Registration Look-up: <a href="http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dir.ct.gov%2Fsots%2FLookUp.aspx&h=KAQGQy6C0AQHDxpayIc3TxtCCHRgiG2ogw1nYM-QoIpm-kQ&enc=AZPh1xd_BKi8t4yT-7ThSgx6bwopFX9D2v2Yyet5X39iDtIdMGiWfnnmvFnQ0eF4TRL41A6aa_IZ80bFy6HW92w_j5IB-FdsKm7-CM7PM00IMKfl7OSlXjYiRCsTZlDp6u62CMCBPJDXxv3SOhzFgskMCjcU5gs-bywpphr3sYA53WA551ySZvOokNIqfnHmqpU&s=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.dir.ct.gov/sots/LookUp.aspx</a><br />
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Pennsylvania polling place look-up: <a href="http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.votespa.com%2Fportal%2Fserver.pt%3Fopen%3D514%26objID%3D1174087%26parentname%3DObjMgr%26parentid%3D4%26mode%3D2&h=qAQFw3Sx1AQETwYNel_FJv4M3ZH7Eczyc1_Rdnm_trQLdPg&enc=AZO-tIQ0_isWyWMvehwgmSZQxK7VpOv2_OfWj4Px1jj2FYMr_mB4kjrJYailA-agI_LeudmMV2DXFYJKJioMLOTdfc8N3xYEaD1_MV99GKI-2EGYGzyVpdTNq7-ReeXxD7pFMov0tBodJnlbVVgPWvsCcD8Xf6gyxQFhLsT7IVrx9VOI8fAf6zcVhvRwecZYIl8&s=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.votespa.com/portal/server.pt…</a><br />
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Rhode Island Voter Information Center: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fsos.ri.gov%2Fvic%2F&h=IAQEPZ4fmAQGq70LvhHdahpVnmOaWoOqH_7sNMSlpls3oYA&enc=AZPG2GWmqYpItFTjICrT_53-Q7F4YxtFS_wrSbrT_FbOoFRNAzzDsdicOpoSR-uwO2PKnZ9VTFoN5f2nmVDRDskY6DW03IHHOEMTk6kUsyMyta0bv0lmsVeWIsKequMt1Fptmbgg93SnqwhAT9ATJU1Fx7Z80kUwPA9Uwa3tCSDFJyoD2ePMIqo3hB027KQUV_s&s=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://sos.ri.gov/vic/</a><br />
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Cheers! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-8516386804348386472016-04-25T03:28:00.001-07:002016-04-25T03:29:07.439-07:00Review: Andrew Lippa's "I Am Anne Hutchinson" and "I Am Harvey Milk."<div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Andrew Lippa's "I Am Anne Hutchinson" and "I Am Harvey Milk."</span></div><div><br></div><div>Whew! How to describe the show this evening.</div><div><br></div><div>I have all sorts of superlatives I can lavish on it. Amazing, Spectacular, Magnificent - those apply. The choruses outdid themselves. And both Chenoweth and Lippa brought their A-game vocally. Really, I am used to being blown away by Ms. Chenoweth, but I must say after hearing Andrew Lippa sing when we were kids and after singing with him in production after production in high school, I am blown away by how his voice has grown and improved over the years. </div><div><br></div><div>But let me get down to the nitty gritty.</div><div><br></div><div>The piece is hard to pin down. It doesn't fit any one mold, and I love that!</div><div><br></div><div>It is not an opera though it has some of the characteristics of one. It is not an Oratorio, though it has many characteristics of one. It is not musical theatre, either. But, it takes elements of all of them and spins them into its own, new musical experience. So, it is worth it to see it just because of the innovation in composition, directing, and structure that Lippa (and the production team) brings to these two one-acts, that are also tied together thematically and in little ways lyrically.</div><div><br></div><div>In the two works, he explores themes of freedom, identity, courage, and perseverance. He lets us witness people who are greater than they are allowed to be, by being just that way. By virtue of their courage, we see them break barriers and surprise even themselves with what they achieve. </div><div><br></div><div>There is a line in "I Am Anne Hutchinson" that has stuck with me. I keep mulling it over in my mind as likely the strongest line in that piece.</div><div><br></div><div>Anne Hutchinson is singing to her accuser (the man who accuses her of stepping beyond her bounds as a woman by reading from and even teaching from the bible) and she says, "Is that what you fear? A woman? An insignificant woman? Being significant." And that moment is breathtaking. In part, Ms. Chenoweth's delivery makes the line a strike at the heart of the patriarchy. But the line itself is poignant, mesmerizing, and worth more study. </div><div><br></div><div>There are many moments like that in "I Am Harvey Milk." That entire piece makes you want to stand and cheer. And dance. How we were expected to sit still through "Friday Night At the Castro," is beyond me.</div><div><br></div><div>The delivery of "Thursday found me on my knees," that leads the song into its explosion of sound and celebration had me laughing and crying at the same time.</div><div><br></div><div>"You are Here" is another gem. There are many. I could extoll their virtues, but I will leave it at encouraging you to see the show if/when it comes on tour.</div><div><br></div><div>In the end, tonight was a joyful celebration of a friend's creation, in the best way possible, with other good friends.</div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-NOeAt93Ak5s/Vx3xcp_cFXI/AAAAAAAABhI/83Oh2yVpCOE/s640/blogger-image--547060094.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-NOeAt93Ak5s/Vx3xcp_cFXI/AAAAAAAABhI/83Oh2yVpCOE/s640/blogger-image--547060094.jpg"></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-4530979491552814862016-03-17T18:57:00.003-07:002016-03-19T17:00:06.815-07:00As You Like It by the National Theatre of London: What Were They Thinking?<div data-contents="true">
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<span data-offset-key="ei20h-0-0"><span data-text="true">I did something tonight I have never done before. I walked out in the middle of a Shakespeare production. The only time I've ever been tempted to walk out of a Shakespeare production was a terrible Troilus and Cressida production I saw 28 years ago at Stratford, Ontario. But even that piece of dung was superior to what I endured this evening. I went to see a Fathom events screening of the National Theatre's production of As You Like It. Shakespeare. Done in London. Should be awesome, right? No, not awesome. In fact, quite the opposite of awesome.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="d0a6e-0-0"><span data-text="true">But let me start with something positive. They showed a little pre-show National Theatre infommercial. We got to see old productions and hear interviews with some of the people who work with the National Theatre. One of them was an old professor of mine from the University of Michigan. He left Michigan after I graduated and went back to England to work with the National Theatre. Benedict Nightingale was always a doll and a great teacher. So, it was double-plus-good to get to see him on the big screen and hear his lovely voice again.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="6mgqm-0-0"><span data-text="true">Another of the most entertaining bits of the night was that the movie failed to start, sort of. We got some of the video, but the audio continued to be the pre-movie commercials, songs, and PSAs so it felt a little I was watching a Chinese martial arts movie that had overdosed on English steroids. Seriously, it was more entertaining than the play itself.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="7mm5m-0-0"><span data-text="true">Let me give full disclosure. As You Like It is not one of my favorite of Shakespeare's comedies. That honor belongs to a tie between Twelfth Night and Midsummer Night's Dream, followed closely by Much Ado and the Tempest. But still, it's Shakespeare, and it has so many elements that I can and do love that I tend to enjoy every production I see. </span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="66oe8-0-0"><span data-text="true">This production? This staging? It was atrocious. I can't even begin to enumerate the ways I couldn't stand it. But, gentle reader, I will try.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="arat9-0-0"><span data-text="true">First, the staging, set design, and setting. </span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="aqppq-0-0"><span data-text="true">Okay, they took a dukedom and turned into a cubicle farm (complete with a Mexican wrestler, but we'll get to that later). All the people were employees doing a choreographed set piece of shuffling paper one to the next. And they wore pink jackets or yellow jackets and tight pants (but we'll get to that later too).</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="j7d1-0-0"><span data-text="true">I wouldn't mind the setting so much since it can be a commentary on how the new duke, Frederick, (who banished the good and wise Duke Senior) is a tyrant, except that there is nothing to indicate that the old duke was any better. We are supposed to surmise that the working conditions had been different before, I guess.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="6qels-0-0"><span data-text="true">The only cool thing is when we change settings from office building to the forest, the woodlands are made up of the rising/floating desks and chairs. The office furniture floats in the air and provides the backdrop and canopy cover of the forest. Pretty cool and nicely eerie.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="aqh22-0-0"><span data-text="true">And now I must address the acting. Or lack thereof. I've gotten used to seeing these great actors say the lines. They know them. They live them, and yet they deliver them as if they are saying them right now for the very first time. The words sound pure and true as they tumble out of mouths. But many of the actors in this production just weren't up to the task. It was like their mouths were incapable of forming the words much less saying them or acting them in any sort of convincing manner. </span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="14lkn-0-0"><span data-text="true">Here are the standouts and not in a good way. Duke Ferdinand: the actor delivered his "You are banished" speech like a high school student taking his first Drama class. And Celia: who seemed like she was going for a typical college freshman took on the voicing of half Valley Girl, half Millennial and failed at both. And then there was, yes, the wrestler. He was big. He was mean. He couldn't act. And they put him on a mat, in the middle of the cubicles, in a Mexican Wrestler mask. Huh???</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="3ekhu-0-0"><span data-text="true">Now, I left before my favorite part because I just couldn't take it. Jaques' "All the world's a stage" speech always brings me to tears. But I knew that if I stayed, I might start heckling the screen, and I didn't want to be that rude.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="e2dg8-0-0"><span data-text="true">In the end, I spent time noticing that several of the male cast members must also be dancers. They had great butts and wore really tight pants (and for that I give thanks to the costume designer). And the camera operator, for some reason, gave us a whole bunch of really tight shots of the tight buns. I don't mind nice butts. In fact, I tend to appreciate them quite a bit. But, honestly, if the point at which I find myself marveling at a peach-shaped behind is during Act 1 Scene 2 in a Shakespeare play, then the production must be doing something other than holding my attention.</span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-87569044474638433042016-02-26T11:43:00.001-08:002016-02-26T11:43:24.557-08:00Building my sand castles (or the devil is in the grains of sand)<div data-contents="true">
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<span data-offset-key="c5lbo-0-0"><span data-text="true">I feel like I've joined the rest of you in the 21st century. I'm signing up for paperless billing (I can handle getting everything via email and still pay all my bills and do all my accounting, right? Right? I'm not so brain-fried that I can't manage that, I hope.)</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="5pqs8-0-0"><span data-text="true">It's always interesting to me setting up this sort of infrastructure. There is all this organizational and logistical effort up front with the hope that your work will be pay off in time (and tree) savings in the future.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="7b33n-0-0"><span data-text="true">I call this time of front-matter organizational set-up, gathering my sand. Bear with me. I look at most big projects as building a sand castle. Before I can build the sand castle, I need to gather the sand. And while I'm doing so, a lot of the sand trickles back down away from my building site. There are all these grains of sand (read details) that must be gathered and addressed and formed into some sort of usable mass before you start building. Then, once you finally have the sand gathered all in one place and moistened down so you can work with it, you can start on construction of your dream castle.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="7flaq-0-0"><span data-text="true">In many ways, my life is like that in this moment. I've been gathering a bunch of sand. Putting all the bits and pieces on the field. I'm almost ready to start building this next phase. </span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="7flaq-0-0"><span data-text="true">There will be much more to come on this thought process in the next few weeks and months as I fabricate my new reality. </span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="18i6n-0-0"><span data-text="true">I'm excited!</span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-48507706616689034632015-11-17T06:15:00.001-08:002015-11-17T13:47:27.580-08:00A call to action: Let's take back our calm<div>So many of us all over the world are feeling squeezed in a pressure cooker. So, I am calling for a moment of breathing all together. Are you willing?</div><div><br></div><div>I invite everyone who reads this to join in and share it wide. </div><div><br></div><div>This afternoon at say five pm (EST)? Who will stop what they are doing and do some military breathing* with me? </div><div><br></div><div>If you want take back your calm, comment here. I will post it live here and guide it. </div><div><br></div><div>Share this if you want. Let's take back some of our calm all together. </div><div><br></div><div>I send you peace. </div><div><br></div><div>Here is the link tot he facebook post where I will be guiding the breathwork</div><div><br></div><div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><div><br></div><div>https://www.facebook.com/izolda.trakhtenberg/posts/10153313460779895?ref=notif&notif_t=like</div></div></div><div><br></div><div>*Military breathing is a stress-reduction technique used by first responders and people in the military to remain calm in high stress situations.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-9996525198207976482015-11-16T10:45:00.001-08:002015-11-16T10:45:48.404-08:00Scent allergies: they're real and they suck!<div>When you live with an allergy or sensitivity that most people don't know exists, it can be tough. </div><div><br></div><div>I have a scent sensitivity. It is getting worse as I get older. I am not allergic. I will not die (unless I inhale too much smoke and my airway closes, which has happened once before and then it Is possible). But I will lose my voice. I will get nauseated. I will get flu-like symptoms. My throat will catch fire. </div><div><br></div><div>Here's the kicker. The things that set me off? Perfumes, essential oils, air fresheners, Fabreze (and whatever vile chemicals are in it) and most detergents. Also, hand soaps, hand and body lotion, and incense. They are things most people use. </div><div><br></div><div>Whisk, Tide, and Gain are the three worst detergent culprits. And they are also the most ubiquitous. If I spend time with people who use them, I will be in a bad way within seconds. </div><div><br></div><div>It means that I spend less time socializing than I used to because I make my living with my voice. And I also prefer not to feel like I am about to hack up a lung. </div><div><br></div><div>It has led to some strange events. Friends have accused me of abandoning them because I am no longer around like I used to be. That is untrue. I haven't abandoned anyone but neither will I ask anyone to change their behavior patterns for me. It's not some sort of martyr thing. Rather, it's the most expedient thing to do because it is asking to change pretty much anything anyone uses. If they use a detergent, and it has a scent, I'll be in trouble. If they forget and put perfume on in the morning before they come see me? I'll be in trouble. If they have hand lotion in their bag and they use it while we are together? I have to leave (and yes I carry my own unscented soap because most bathrooms in public places use soap that will set me off). So, it's hard to go, "Oh yes please. Go scent free." It is a huge undertaking. </div><div><br></div><div>I have one person, who wanted me to be around less, who started using a scented detergent when she had not been before. When I asked her about it, she at first denied it. And then, once we had discussed the matter further, she said, "Oh yeah. My bad. I did do that." Needless to say, she and I are no longer friends. It is not because she used a scented detergent by the way. It is because she did it on purpose. Want an excellent way to ensure that you don't spend time with someone who is allergic? Just go and buy and use the thing that spikes their allergy.</div><div><br></div><div>At our last wedding anniversary, my husband and I had to leave early. The bed-and-breakfast place used detergent that had scent. I tried to stay one night. I woke up in the middle of the night wheezing like I had asthma. I don't have asthma. I've never had asthma. But I get asthma like symptoms if I inhale Whisk.</div><div><br></div><div>So, I am careful. But sometimes, no matter how careful I am, there is nothing I can do. Until a couple of years ago, for five years, we had next-door neighbors who A, smoked, and B, used a detergent that killed me. The trouble with living in these old co-op is that nothing is airtight. So, when they used their detergent, the stench from it came right into our house. I bought air purifiers. I tried to buy them their own scent-free laundry detergent that I would pay for that would be scent free. </div><div><br></div><div>"I can't ask you to do that," my neighbor said</div><div><br></div><div>"I am totally willing to do that, it would help me out a lot and it would save my health," I replied. </div><div><br></div><div>"Well, I just want to keep using the detergent I want to use because I like the scent," she said. </div><div><br></div><div>So, despite trying hard to work with them, and despite trying to get mediation with our Cooperative (which they did not attend and in which the co-op let me down in a substantive way that I will never get over but that is for another story), for five years I had an on-fire sore throat. The kicker? The man living in that house had a job that necessitated doing laundry every, single day. So, yeah. For five years. Every day. I was sick.</div><div><br></div><div>The tough part? I couldn't leave. If you look at all of the information about scent allergies, they all say, "well, if you are experiencing scents that you can't stand or that are giving you a reaction, leave. Go home. Stay in a safe space." Well, what happens if your safe space is the place that's dangerous? What happens if it's your house that's the biggest problem? I felt for years like there was nowhere I could go. </div><div><br></div><div>Why am I bringing all this up now? It happened again last night. My husband needed to have some colleagues over to work on his show. I was going to be out. I ended up not going out, but it didn't matter. One of them or perhaps both of them use laundry detergent that sets me off. I stayed upstairs. I hid in my office. I tried not to come downstairs. But, I still have almost no voice this morning. Today is being spent clearing out all of the things that need to be cleared out so that I can get to some semblance of normal. I'm washing couch cushions. I have the windows open on a cold day and I have fans going. Why? It's in the hope that by this evening, some of this will dissipate and I will be able to recuperate enough for my gig this Wednesday. That's the problem with making a living with your voice. If you need to use it, and it's not working? It's like trying to be a marathon runner with a broken foot. You pretty much can't do it.</div><div><br></div><div>I hope my voice will return. If not, I will be doing an all instrumental holiday caroling show. </div><div><br></div><div>If you have read this far, thanks. I needed to get this off my chest. And also, if you see me and I don't hug you, please don't take it personally. I just can't take the chance that whatever scent you used five minutes ago or ten hours ago will rub off on me and cause me days, perhaps weeks of pain. </div><div><br></div><div>Sending you all of my love.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-25638753870824787512015-11-13T06:32:00.001-08:002015-11-13T13:24:54.866-08:00Finding Strength In Weakness<div>
My thoughts this morning turn to finding strength in my weakness.</div>
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I was working with clients over the weekend. One of them talked about how he felt weak and that he wanted to go back and be strong how he used to be.</div>
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I said, "Wait, don't try to go backward to find that strength. Look forward to the strength you will find as you move through this time of weakness. That is where we find our strength, when we feel the most weak and vulnerable. We have to go through each step, good and bad, in order to find ourselves."</div>
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Then, I talked to them about my violin. It is an old instrument, from 1872. I have owned it since I was nine years old. It had a beautiful sound. About 20 years ago, I was walking with it down a flight of stone steps. I stumbled. It fell and cracked. My heart broke along with it. I took it to Violin House of Weaver (now Potter's Violins), which is one of the best Violin Houses in the world. </div>
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"We'll take care of it," they promised. "You won't be able to tell the difference."</div>
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I had my doubts but I left it with them. In the meantime, to prepare for upcoming gigs a friend was kind enough to lend me his violin while mine was being repaired.</div>
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During that time, burglars broke into our house and stole a bunch of stuff. They stole my friend's violin. We tried in vain to find it at local pawn shops, but we never did. Luckily, we had insurance and while we weren't able to retrieve his violin, we were at least able to get him money for it. I still feel badly about that, but there was nothing we could have done to prevent it.</div>
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Meanwhile, my violin was still being repaired. In my heart of hearts, I knew it would never sound the way it had. I knew it would forever be broken, but I waited it out until the day came to go pick it up.</div>
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"Play it," the man behind the counter encouraged me.</div>
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I ran the bow across the strings and it was magic! The instrument sounded better than it had before.</div>
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"How did you do that?" I asked as I put my lovely violin away.</div>
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"The glue we use now works with the fibers of the wood on a molecular level," he replied. "It fills the cracks perfectly and then vibrates with them the way the wood itself would. Like a broken bone, where it was shattered will now be stronger than before. You lost monetary value when you dropped it, but you haven't lost the instrument."</div>
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I thanked him, and I left. </div>
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It was only much later that I realized that if I hadn't dropped the violin, I would indeed have lost it and sooner than I thought. If it hadn't been in the shop when it was, it would have been the violin stolen when the burglars broke in. Instead, I still have it and played it just yesterday.</div>
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So now, when things fall apart, I remember my violin and how the moment it broke was the moment it was saved. </div>
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And then, I breathe.</div>
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<a href="http://www.med.navy.mil/sites/nmcphc/Documents/health-promotion-wellness/psychological-emotional-wellbeing/Combat-Tactical-Breathing.pdf">http://www.med.navy.mil/sites/nmcphc/Documents/health-promotion-wellness/psychological-emotional-wellbeing/Combat-Tactical-Breathing.pdf</a> </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-86793577651363711492015-11-02T06:05:00.001-08:002015-11-02T06:32:46.853-08:00Honoring my ancestors my way<div>In some spiritual traditions, at this time of year, people remember and celebrate their ancestors. We acknowledge our honored dead on All Hallows Eve, Day of the Dead, and All Saints Day.</div><div><br></div><div>I always see a lot of, "I honor my grandparents," and "You are here because of the love of thousands" sorts of posts at the end of October. And they always give me pause because I neither honor my grandparents nor believe in their love. I don't know much about my ancestors before them. They died long before I was born.</div><div><br></div><div>For those who don't know, I was born in the former Soviet Union. When we emigrated in 1973, it was with the knowledge that we would never again see those we left behind. Intercontinental communication was possible but calls into the Soviet Union took a great deal of doing. </div><div><br></div><div>I was six years old when we left and understood that I would never see or likely hear from my grandmothers again. And I didn't mind one bit. That sounds harsh, I know. But that is the way of things.</div><div><br></div><div>I recall only missing one person after we left, my great grandmother, Golda (after whom my sister Golda Noble is named). Both my grandfathers died in World War II. So, the only ancestors we ever knew were both grandmothers and my maternal great grandmother. </div><div><br></div><div>To say my grandmothers (coincidentally both named Rose) were evil, wicked women is both an understatement and a misnomer. Neither was particularly warm, kind, or giving. Both had the pinched and mean quality of someone who has suffered greatly and never healed. Then again, they lived through the hell that was post World War II Soviet Union. Both lost husbands. Both endured traumas I can't even imagine. And yet both survived. That must count for something.</div><div><br></div><div>To give an example of their lack of kindness towards me, personally, I became my own babysitter when I was two years old. Allow me to explain. Both women worked at home when I was born. Both lived a few blocks from my family. Neither wanted to watch me when both my parents went to work. I was watched by my sister, Emily until I was two years old (thanks for that, Em). Why the change? She started school at seven. My parents asked both grandmothers to watch me. Neither would. Great grandma Golda would have but she lived with my grandmother and had little power to sway opinion in either direction, from what I understand. I don't know the details of their reasons. I only know that my parents sat me down, told me what was going to happen, explained what I could and could not do (don't play with the electrical sockets, do put on your clothes, don't go outside) and then left me to my own devices all day while my sister was in school.</div><div><br></div><div>As a result, I never had any sort of loving feelings towards either grandmother. In fact, I feel a sort of indifference to both. When we left the FSU, I shed no tears for anyone we left behind except my great grandmother.</div><div><br></div><div>Grandma Golda was as kind as she could be under the circumstances. But I view her life and kindness through the lens of being in the FSU in the early 1970s. Few had anything. Most had nothing. We made do with what little we had, and children grew up fast.</div><div><br></div><div>Grandma Golda taught me how to read cards (regular playing cards not tarot) and stones. She talked to me about the traditions and for lack of a better term superstitions of our people. Some would call what she did folk wisdom or folk magic. She just relayed them as the way we did things. I was a sponge back then and I soaked her wisdom up. I still use a lot of what she told me in my work, and for that I am grateful.</div><div><br></div><div>Grandma Golda passed away when we were living in Israel on our year-long journey to immigrate to the USA. I remember the day clearly. It was hot in Dimona, in the middle of the desert. My father held my mother as she keened her grief. We had received a letter that Grandma Golda had passed away within a month of our leaving. It had already been a few months so we didn't know of her death for a long time. I think that was part of my mother's grief. She hadn't been there, and it had already been months.</div><div><br></div><div>As adults, my parents had both known the full impact of leaving everything they knew. They had known they would likely never see any family again (untrue in our case but we didn't know that at the time). But, my great grandmother had been 84 years old when we left. It was certain we would never see her again. </div><div><br></div><div>Nowadays, the immigration experience is likely different. People can email, whatsapp, text, and heck skype across continents. Communication is much simpler for many. But back then, it took months to get word. And with the border guards often keeping what they felt like keeping, many letters and packages never arrived. When you left, you often said a permanent goodbye to everyone and everything you had ever known.</div><div><br></div><div>I can't imagine the impact that sort of knowledge has on the psyche. We are generally social, family-oriented creatures. Even the nomadic societies traveled in family-centered groups. But immigration? That's a whole different ballgame. It requires a separation and chasm that must permanently impact and influence the lives of those who leave and those who remain behind.</div><div><br></div><div>I am not a nomad. As someone who loves to travel, I also love having a home base. I want to leave and return with the certainty that I will come home. Immigration requires you to make a home wherever you settle. It amazes me how many people have done it and survived and thrived in the aftermath. My parents (who have their issues but that is for another essay) did the best they could as they embarked on the journey that brought them and their children to a new world.</div><div><br></div><div>A few years ago, I took my mother on a trip to New Mexico. We were going to drive around to the cool sites and spend some time together. As part of the journey, I decided to get some insight into our history. I brought a taperecorder and a list of questions. While we drove, I asked her the questions, and she recorded her answers. I still have some of those recordings. They illuminated, for me, the arduous lives my family and everyone led after the Iron Curtain cordoned off a chunk of the world. I listen to them periodically to remind myself of what we are capable of as a species and as people. We can cause each other unspeakable pain. That, I grieve. And we can muster up the will and resolve and strength to survive just about anything. That, I respect.</div><div><br></div><div>So, I guess if I am going to honor my ancestors, this last is what I choose to celebrate. I bow my head in remembrance and raise my eyes in hope that I will always have the will and resolve and courage to thrive.</div><div><br></div><div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-89752175538361285992015-10-02T07:17:00.001-07:002015-10-02T07:17:12.420-07:00May this be the day things change<div>Dare I comment on this?</div><div><br></div><div>I'm afraid if I start, I won't stop and will devolve into screaming.</div><div><br></div><div>Somewhere, somehow, this madness has become a viable strategy for crackpots who aren't happy with the number of dates they've gotten, what someone else worships, or worse because they woke up and decided they would like to try to kill people and see what that's like.</div><div><br></div><div>When did that happen? How have we become so warped as a society that this is somehow a path that is even open for consideration? How has violence, extreme violence, become such a commonplace response to stimuli? And what's more important, what can we do about it?</div><div><br></div><div>I could rage against the lax gun laws, and if you know me, you already know my thoughts on that. So, I won't. I could rage against the ease with which people can get guns illegally (heck I could get one tomorrow and no one would be the wiser). And I'm not going to do that either. I could ponder the thought that I've been having that the paradigm of computer games and movies which show people dying again and again and then coming back like nothing ever happened has changed our consciousness and our awareness of death and its permanent status. (I read for enough young people who tell me that have contemplated "the suicide" [their words] as a method of dealing with their unhappiness to know that they aren't truly aware that they won't come back to a better, brighter future after they have died. They don't seem to grok that it is permanent. And we spend time talking about that during their readings before I give them the number of the suicide hotline and the therapist I know who lives closest to them [yes, I keep a database].) There are any number of issues we could highlight as the reason so many choose this as a course of action.</div><div><br></div><div>But, in the end, it doesn't matter because people are dead. Young people who had dreams and lives they wanted to live are gone. They will never have the chance to live their purpose. That is what matters. And what's more, the guy who killed them is dead and that means we can't study him and find out what transpired inside his twisted brain that made this an okay thing to do and apparently to promote on cchan beforehand. </div><div><br></div><div>Because ultimately, that is what I want to know and change. I want to know why these people are doing it. I want to know what sort of issue inside them calls them to this extreme and abhorrent course of action. I can't help thinking that if we figure it out, we will be able to change the future.</div><div><br></div><div>I hope so. I hope we can determine the root cause of this decision and figure out a way to avert it. Or it will get worse. </div><div><br></div><div>I am an idealist. I want to see and live in a society where no one kills or is killed. I want to see us all work together to usher in a peaceful world. This morning that ideal feels much farther away. And yet I cling to hope.</div><div><br></div><div>My heart and thoughts are with those who are wounded and the families of those who were murdered. </div><div><br></div><div>May this be the day things change.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-19599443761170816862015-09-23T08:47:00.001-07:002015-09-23T08:51:41.940-07:00Go at your own pace but show up.Some people run marathons. Some people can bench press 250 pounds. Today, I am just happy that I was able to do 24 angled push-ups (three sets of eight) in my clap push-ups challenge and walk 2 miles without a cane.<div><br></div><div>A couple of weeks ago I could do no more than three sets of five push-ups, and I was walking with my cane pretty much everywhere.<br><br>To me, diligence is key. So is consistency. Whatever it is we are trying to do if we show up, day in and day, out we will eventually progress. Even if in the moment it feels like we're walking backwards, at least, we're still walking. </div><div><br></div><div>Every single thing that happens to us ends up being some sort of learning experience, I think. Most especially the things that cause us the greatest challenges end up being our greatest teachers. So, my questions for you are these. How are you going challenge yourself today? What goal post will you set for yourself? How will you thrive?</div><div><br></div><div>My challenge remains to keep getting stronger, more fit, happier, healthier, more productive, and more active in the causes I support. If your challenge is similar, let me know. After all, we're all in this together.</div><div></div><div></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-NgUAr7E9Wio/VgLKjNho1YI/AAAAAAAABQo/sFvSp0EscD4/s640/blogger-image-1858066188.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-NgUAr7E9Wio/VgLKjNho1YI/AAAAAAAABQo/sFvSp0EscD4/s640/blogger-image-1858066188.jpg"></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-63406426331608220382015-09-11T08:38:00.000-07:002015-09-11T08:38:30.739-07:00We are all in this together.<div>
I've started this post numerous ways. And I, verbose as I am, have no words for this.</div>
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Sometimes, I feel like some vital connection to all the other lives on this planet is slipping away. And that connection that used to be inherent must now be nurtured by all of us. Somehow, we have to see, really see, all those beings who need help, kindness, and compassion.</div>
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Many people, heck, all of us, are just a few tragic steps from becoming homeless or worse. So many beings (two-legged, four-legged, no-legged, winged) suffer daily. Sometimes, I have to close my eyes and ears and heart to some of it or I feel I will disintegrate in the sorrow and the rage. And yet, I keep trying to maintain the connection. I keep reaching out to others who need help in small and big ways. I live as cruelty-free as I can. And I try to leave any situation better than I found it.</div>
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Sometimes, the suffering I see debilitates me and I have choose between drowning in it and staying just a little apart from it so I can have the energy to help where I can. Damn. This is hard. I spent the weekend reading for over a hundred people. Many of them needed help in some serious ways. Many are trying to deal with surviving abuse and rape. And in those few minutes I had with them, I tried to help them. I gave them resources for therapists or crisis centers or just an ear, a shoulder and the knowledge that someone sees them - that someone sees and acknowledges how they have suffered and is grateful they are still here.</div>
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To slightly misquote the movie Rob Roy. "If they can bear to endure it, I can bear to be witness."</div>
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Here's what I keep telling myself. </div>
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We are all in this together.</div>
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Thank you for reading.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-69750210308719832432015-08-18T08:18:00.002-07:002015-08-18T08:18:59.472-07:00Evaluation: Or How I Use My Time<div data-contents="true" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0">
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="3cdbb-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$3cdbb">
<span data-offset-key="3cdbb-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$3cdbb.0:$3cdbb-0-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$3cdbb.0:$3cdbb-0-0.0">Under the heading of: "If you can't say something nice..." I just deleted a comment/critique of a divination tool a friend had posted.</span></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="c5lqh-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$c5lqh">
<span data-offset-key="c5lqh-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$c5lqh.0:$c5lqh-0-0"><br data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$c5lqh.0:$c5lqh-0-0.0" /></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="cm7rh-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$cm7rh">
<span data-offset-key="cm7rh-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$cm7rh.0:$cm7rh-0-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$cm7rh.0:$cm7rh-0-0.0">I think the concept for the tool is super cool. I think the execution is too general, pedantic, and tells you *exactly* what you already know (or should already know, like, "you are not happy when people treat you like crap" [this last was paraphrased]). Everyone else in the thread was thrilled with what they got and said so in their comments. I found it only somewhat accurate and not terribly useful.</span></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="44mm6-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$44mm6">
<span data-offset-key="44mm6-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$44mm6.0:$44mm6-0-0"><br data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$44mm6.0:$44mm6-0-0.0" /></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="1j1s2-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$1j1s2">
<span data-offset-key="1j1s2-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$1j1s2.0:$1j1s2-0-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$1j1s2.0:$1j1s2-0-0.0">But, a critique, in that way, was not requested, and so I removed my comment. I wasn't asked to review the product. So, why did I feel the need to give my honest response? And more importantly, why did I click on it to begin with? </span></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="11to-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$11to">
<span data-offset-key="11to-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$11to.0:$11to-0-0"><br data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$11to.0:$11to-0-0.0" /></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="2otf6-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$2otf6">
<span data-offset-key="2otf6-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$2otf6.0:$2otf6-0-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$2otf6.0:$2otf6-0-0.0">I'm a natural evaluator and have done that work many times. So, I tend to look at most anything new with an evaluator's eye. I also do readings and so cool new tools spark my interest. Those explain why I clicked and why I evaluated in my head. But the question remains, why did I feel the need to write my thoughts down and post them in a comment?</span></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="4kd5c-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$4kd5c">
<span data-offset-key="4kd5c-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$4kd5c.0:$4kd5c-0-0"><br data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$4kd5c.0:$4kd5c-0-0.0" /></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l">
<span data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0.0">Perhaps, that was this tool's use for me. I sparked my own thinking about how I use my time.</span></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l">
<span data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0.0"> </span></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l">
<span data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0.0">I believe this is about awareness, evaluation, and vigilance. If I remain aware about where my time is going, I can evaluate my activities and thoughts in the present moment. If I am on task towards my ultimate goals,* I am good to go. If I am not, I must remain vigilant of activities that waste my time and correct my course in the moment.</span></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l">
<span data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0.0"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l">
<span data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0.0">How about you? How do you maintain your course towards your ultimate goal? Do you set up reminders? Do have an easy or tough time with staying focused?</span></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l">
<span data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0.0"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class=" _209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l">
<span data-offset-key="7209l-0-0" data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0"><span data-reactid=".0.1.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$7209l.0:$7209l-0-0.0">*More on Ultimate Goal coming soon.</span></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-20482429251402525822015-08-12T08:30:00.001-07:002015-08-12T10:12:28.543-07:00Vacations: a vital part of life.<div>Why I take vacations</div><div><br></div><div>I don't do it often, but it turns out I need the recharge time.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm crawling back to myself on this break. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my roles in the lives of my friends, my clients, my students, and the world at large.</div><div><br></div><div>The big revelation? I spend a lot of my time and my self generating output. I give readings, advice, education, performances, etc. And usually all of that comes with its own brand of communication. When I perform, I strive for an exchange of energy. The audience and I make time for a chat. It's just that some of the chat is me making music and them listening. The rest of the time, we converse. Truly.</div><div><br></div><div>When I teach, the exchange is almost as 50/50. I learn from my students almost as much as they learn from me. </div><div><br></div><div>When I do readings or coaching, the energy output is much more mine since the people who come to me want my guidance and rarely is it a full exchange. Rather, it is my output to help them heal, progress, and grow towards their highest path.</div><div><br></div><div>When I volunteer for causes I support, I do so with an open heart and the fervent hope that what I am doing will help make a difference. There is satisfaction in a job well-done in volunteer work that I rarely get from any other sort of work I do.</div><div><br></div><div>I've always operated on the premise that my wellspring was infinite. I tell clients all the time that they need to stop, breathe, and recharge. But it turns out, I've not been taking my own advice.</div><div><br></div><div>Before this vacation, I was running on fumes. I was surviving, but I was not thriving. And since my goal is to not only survive but thrive, it has become clear to me that I have been working at cross purposes with myself and with my highest path.</div><div><br></div><div>Well, that had to stop. I wasn't paying attention to myself and my needs. And my body started giving me messages that if I didn't chill out, it was going to chill me out for me. So, Rich and I hatched this rather last-minute plan to go away for a bit before the craziness of the autumn season falls upon us.</div><div><br></div><div>Once the Ren Fest starts, I will be working seven days a week until December 26th. Since I already maintain a similar pace and have been for the last few years, I needed this break.</div><div><br></div><div>And that makes me think. How many of us push ourselves past our limits and forget that we even have them? How many of us exhaust ourselves with work and when we're done look for the next thing on the list to tackle? There will always be another challenge, another item on the "To-do" list. Another project will beckon. Another quest will present itself.</div><div><br></div><div>And yet, if we aren't well-rested, we will not be at our best. If we are not relaxed, we might falter when we most need to stand strong and resolute.</div><div><br></div><div>This is all my way of saying that I've decided to cut myself some slack. And I want to encourage everyone else to do that too. The projects, goals, and to-do lists aren't going anywhere. They will be there tomorrow. </div><div><br></div><div>Here's the thing, though. The instant you look at a project with dread rather than anticipation, it might be time to look at either your motivation or your energy level. I think even the most arduous and heinous things we need to do to live our lives can present a fun challenge rather than a drudgerous task. The things that tip that scale? First, is the level of our fear about being able to do it well. To that I give that ol' platitude, "Feel the fear and do it anyway." It might be corny, but it is true. This is for another post, but when we feel fear, that reaction is giving us clues. They key here is to learn to interpret them and then utilize the information they provide. More on this later.</div><div><br></div><div>Second is our stress level. If we fear being able to achieve our goals, often, we will avoid embarking on the mission. If we are too tired or too stressed, we will avoid the arduous task like the plague. And that will only prolong the agony. So, the lesson I've learned here is if we are too stressed to do justice to our task, perhaps it's time to take a break and relax and release some of that stress before we accept the challenge. Then, we can come to it with fresh eyes and a full heart.</div><div><br></div><div>And by the way, it doesn't have to be a long break. Not every break has to be five days in Key West (though that doesn't hurt, let me tell you). A break can be five minutes of breathing with eyes closed or a walk around the block or petting your cat (one of my personal favorites). If we do something to release the grip of stress, we will do better and we will be better. Certainly, we will feel better.</div><div><br></div><div>I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite movies, "The Princess Bride:" "Remember, if you don't have your health, you don't have anything." -Count Rugen</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-qJjEvQyVsJk/Vctmp7BAC0I/AAAAAAAABO4/SfJ2K1fHkv0/s640/blogger-image-1501913400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-qJjEvQyVsJk/Vctmp7BAC0I/AAAAAAAABO4/SfJ2K1fHkv0/s640/blogger-image-1501913400.jpg"></a></div><br></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-40449405513479833562015-08-11T07:42:00.001-07:002015-08-11T07:52:45.767-07:00A bikini and a swimming pool: A lesson in body image<div>(This might offend some, but it's what I'm thinking about so consider yourselves warned.) </div><div><br></div><div>I'm too much a product of my upbringing. And that saddens me. But, I'm so proud of the people in front of me, and that makes me weep joyful tears.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm hanging out by the pool, and we are in "The Europeans have landed" mode. There are no fewer than four families from various parts of Europe hanging out by the pool before we all disburse to our various activities for the day.</div><div><br></div><div>A few particular people have caught my eye. Two girls, who are about twelve or thirteen are frolicking in the pool. Both are wearing bikinis. Neither is thin. At all. Both have bellies that hang out over their bikini bottoms. Both have full, big hips and thighs. Both are doing their thing without a care as to whether or not they "should" be wearing bikinis with the kind of figures they have. They are just doing it and having a blast making handstands and somersaults and giggles. </div><div><br></div><div>When I was their age, I would not have dreamed of putting a bikini on my body. My breasts alone would have made wearing a two-piece suit an impossibility. Heck, to this day, I wouldn't dream of it because frankly the straps cutting into my shoulders would be too painful unless I pay big money for a custom-made suit, which I won't be doing (and I like my low-cut one-piece purple and pink suit just fine, thank you very much. :) ). But the big issue? Both my parents let me (and my sisters) know that we were too fat and that we should not ever reveal ourselves like that in public. They reinforced that message daily in ways big and small. </div><div><br></div><div>So, while I loved the water, the pool, and the beach, I covered myself up. Some of you, who took swimming with me in high school might remember that I wore a t-shirt over my swimsuit. I was a great swimmer. I could do a backwards dive off the high board (and did and that was how I got an automatic A in the class) and not blink an eye. I have since learned how to scuba dive. And you know what? Never would I do it while wearing a two-piece suit. How strange and sad is that!</div><div><br></div><div>We all get messages from the world at large about what we should and shouldn't do. And the messages fall on a continuum. The hope is that our parents would fall on the positive end of that scale. The wish is that they would land squarely on the "You go girl! You are awesome! And how great that you can dive off the high dive (regardless of what you are wearing)!" side of things.</div><div><br></div><div>But often, too often, we receive the exact opposite messages from parents and other elders whose job it is to help us develop a strong sense of self and a healthy ego. I didn't have children, but I like to think I would fall on the positive end of that spectrum. I certainly try to support the young people in my life as they stretch and grow. I do have some views on being too sedentary at too young an age, but that has little to do with body image and a lot to do with good health, wellbeing, and quality of life. </div><div><br></div><div>I wish I could come up to these young women and tell them how incredible I think they are. And I wish I could give the parents a "high five" for doing such a great job raising their kids. Both girls are well-adjusted, happy, adventurous, and fantastic. And they have their parents' support as they develop. I would love it if everyone had the opportunity to feel that way as they grow up.</div><div><br></div><div>I also wish we lived in a society where what a girl or woman chooses to wear wasn't up for debate or discussion. As I said first thing, I hope that part of this essay doesn't offend people. I guess I'm a product of my society as much as I am one of my upbringing. I still wonder and question and ponder these issues and how they affect women and girls all over the world.</div><div><br></div><div>Right now, the dad and one of the daughters are hanging out in the pool. They are giggling and bouncing and having a great time. He is helping her straighten her underwater handstand. He is providing support, encouragement, advice, and a boundary as she explores this new skill. And as far as I'm concerned those are four of the biggest and best things parents can do for their kids.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-85196117989343277602015-08-02T12:06:00.000-07:002015-08-02T12:06:10.071-07:00Read like a writer? Not when you're a judgeHere's something that's making me go, "hmmm."<br /><br />I am a judge in a writing contest. Yesterday, I finally had time to read through the entries and send in my evaluations. The process of judging catalyzed me into a realization I hadn't foreseen. <br /><br />I spent the better part of all my education years doing some form of lit crit or drama crit. So, I know how to do that. I'm comfortable looking for theme, voice, phrasing and most of all storytelling. If I say so, I'm pretty good at evaluating pieces to see what worked and what didn't. I remember at a Greenbelt Writers' group meeting, an English Prof at one of the local community colleges came to do a poetry criticism workshop with us. He asked us to evaluate poems and then discuss them. When I gave my evaluations/opinions, he was wowed. <br /><br />"Are you an English professor?" He asked.<br />"No, why?" <br />"Because you know your way around lit crit."<br />"No," I answered. "I was an English major at the University of Michigan. They put us through our paces."<br />"Ah, Michigan," he said. "Now, I understand." (Michigan has/had a tremendous English Department, and I benefited greatly by studying there.)<br /><br />So, I know my way around literary and dramatic critique. But, I realized yesterday that I have changed how I view literature. I no longer look at it as an analyst or a critic. I look at it as a writer. As I have started to write my own books, my perspective has shifted. <br /><br />Now, instead of looking at the structure, the theme, or the grammar, I look at the quality of the story. And to make things more interesting, I evaluate it based on whether or not it impacts me rather than just enjoying the tale. I can't lose myself in the book or story anymore. And if I am not careful, I start planning/plotting as I read. In other words, I think about how I would do it my way. How would I rework the scene? How would make it more fun/exciting/moving, etc.? And how would I "resist the urge to explain?"*<br /><br />Yesterday, as I read the submissions, I resisted the urge to think about how I would do things differently and did my darnedest to evaluate each work on its own merits. I think I accomplished that task. But only barely. <br /><br />Any other writers out there think that way?<br /><br />* From "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Self-Editing-Fiction-Writers-Second-Yourself/dp/0060545690/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1438542285&sr=8-1&keywords=self+editing+for+the+fiction+writer" target="_blank">Self-editing for the Fiction Writer</a>."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-28065100488722183652015-07-22T06:05:00.000-07:002015-07-22T06:05:42.868-07:00Productivity Tuesday: Contracts are a processHere's a bit of advice. <br />
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Read every contract you are about to sign. Read it, understand it, and agree with it. Or don't sign. If you don't understand, talk to a lawyer. It will save you aggravation and potential heartache in the long-run.<br />
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When you review a contract someone wants you to sign, you must remember you have a great deal of power. If what you are reading either doesn't make sense or will bind you into an agreement you don't want, you can change things. Break out the red pen and mark it up to what you are willing to sign. Then, send it back to the contract originator for their perusal. Once they have reviewed it, they might either agree with your changes or they will come back with another modified offer. You also take the chance that the entire thing might not work out, but chances are an effective contract negotiator will understand the paradigm and participate in it. Having said that, you must be willing to walk away from any contract that will not meet your needs and expectations. <br />
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Remember, contracts are a negotiation. They are not binding until you've signed on the dotted line. Until then, you can navigate and negotiate terms that will work for you (and talk with a contract lawyer if you need to do that so that the legalese doesn't confound you). If you do that, you will place yourself into an optimal working arrangement. If you don't do it, you might find yourself stuck in an untenable situation that you can't fix until the terms of the contract expire.<br />
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As we might all guess, the former is far preferable. Remember, they company or entity that wants you to sign, wants you to sign. They also hardly ever want the contract to work in your favor. It's not personal. It is just that it is seldom in their best interest. With luck, they want it to be fair, but unless you read it and comprehend exactly what the agreement will be, you might find yourself in scorching hot water.<br />
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Avoid the hot water in favor of the cooler waters of common sense and a good understanding of what you are about to sign before you put pen to paper. You will be far happier. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-18028560763950054922015-07-14T13:07:00.001-07:002015-07-14T13:07:14.157-07:00Productivity Tuesday: Feel Free to Forgive YourselfSometimes, despite our best efforts to be productive and to complete projects on time, we get overwhelmed. Too many deadlines loom. Too many to-do items beckon. Too much has to be done right this instant.<br />
I just had this happen yesterday. I returned from a weekend away to a mountain of projects that ballooned into emergencies through no fault of my own. I could not get them done no matter how hard I tried. There was only so much of the ten pounds of poop my five pound bag would hold.<br />
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I stressed out. Immediately, my stomach clenched, my jaw ached, and my head pounded. I started the hamster-in-the-wheel race to get everything done, but I eventually admitted defeat. I was not going to be able to complete everything on my plate for yesterday. And then, on top of that realization I also heaped on a huge helping of guilt for not being super woman and somehow eking out a miracle. Talk about a double-whammy!<br />
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After a couple of hours of this double-whammy of stress and guilt, I took a break. I sat down in my chair. A cat climbed into my lap, and together, we closed our eyes, <a href="http://izoldat.blogspot.com/2015/07/they-all-say-to-stop-and-breathe-but.html" target="_blank">breathed deeply</a>, and relaxed. I didn't rest for long, but I needed a breather. I needed to center and relax if only for five minutes. And most of all, I needed to release myself from the prison of guilt for not being able to do the impossible. I put down that burden, opened my eyes, and then proceeded to kick butt on everything else I could do for the day.<br />
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I'll be honest, I would not have been able to proceed nearly as well or as productively if I hadn't taken those few minutes to unwind and release my guilt. The guilt would have continued to weigh me down. I would have labored under it for the rest of the day and not gotten nearly as much done. <br />
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It has taken me something like 40 years to learn that particular lesson. And it is this: <b>Forgive yourself and recommit to the plan tomorrow.</b><br />
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<b> </b>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-46247461420122908602015-07-12T12:14:00.001-07:002015-07-12T12:16:45.936-07:00Aladdin on Broadway - Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I try to review at least one show, movie, or tv show a week on Review Mondays. Here is this week's review of Aladdin on Broadway.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-vnCtfgJ-iPM/VaK8iUwhntI/AAAAAAAABNM/UaxgWQld9oA/s640/blogger-image-603613742.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-vnCtfgJ-iPM/VaK8iUwhntI/AAAAAAAABNM/UaxgWQld9oA/s640/blogger-image-603613742.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Aladdin on Broadway, New York, NY </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Overall, the production was tons of fun. It was lavish, outlandish, and a treat for the eyes and ears.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The sets were lovely: colorful and evocative of a fantasy Sahara with all the bells and whistles you would expect from a Disney production. The cave set and the jeweled palace set were beautifully envisioned and realized. The Magic Carpet Ride was particularly well done with the actors riding the carpet all over (above) the stage. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">A couple of technical glitches kept me from losing myself in the look of the production. The Aladdin (an understudy) either got caught up in his mic cord or just covered the mic when he placed his turban back on his head, because his voice kept going in and out during the song, and he missed a cue where his scene partner had to ad-lib a sputtering bit of dialog (literally he sputtered before the show could grind to a halt).</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Regardless, the overall look and feel evoked Disney, fun, and beauty with an underlying sensuality you expect from the costumes (tons of belly dancing garb), desert, and starry skies. I wanted to eat figs under a starry sky in the desert while the vibrant but muted colors of our tents fluttered in the breeze.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">James Monroe Iglehart as the Genie was perfect. He had one small mis-speak, but yikes when you have as many words to say as he says and have to say them as quickly as he does, I can see how one might make its escape. Regardless, he gave a great ride. Some of his Robin Williams-isms were spot on and made me miss RW all over again. In my opinion, his singing, dancing, and acting were spot on. I loved the way he blasted through the fourth wall. He was so over the top that we couldn't help but join him on his fabulous journey.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Don Darryl Rivera as Iago was also tremendous. I believe they combined two characters into one. The parrot (named Iago) was gone and Abu, the monkey, was played by and as a live actor. He was hilarious, and reminded me a little bit of Elder Cunningham in Book of Mormon, if Elder Cunningham had been evil with a capital E.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Aladdin and Jasmine were both pretty good and I'm always happy to see young people get the opportunity to stretch and grow as performers. But I didn't and still don't understand why a Broadway show would have two understudies on a Saturday evening performance. I would imagine that both actors got sick and couldn't do the demanding roles for the day. Otherwise, I would love it if that had not been the case. They both did a fine job, but you could tell that neither was an in-the-pocket on the blocking and some of the singing that the regular cast members would have been. They also lacked a little of the chemistry the regular cast members would likely have had with best friends, ladies-in-waiting, and the Genie himself. They were enjoyable, but both brought me out of the action of the show a couple of times. At one point, poor Kassim had to ad-lib a bunch of splutter when Aladdin missed his cue.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I realize I'm being extremely nit-picky here, but I admit that unless there is something ridiculously terrible happening, I expect Broadway caliber performances at Broadway shows. I had a similar reaction when I saw Kinky Boots a few years ago and Lola was understudied. The gentleman in the role tried, but he was no match for the task at hand. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Full disclosure: I am a performer. I play music. And I have often said that if an audience wants to see/hear it as perfect, then they should go buy the CD. Most of the time, I stick to that. Having said that, I feel that if an audience is paying hundreds of dollars per ticket, that rule doesn't apply or at least it might be an exception. The understudies should be better rehearsed so that those kinds of missed cues are minimized. Again, I realize I'm being harsh. If this had been a college production, I would have applauded their efforts. But I also would not have been paying hundreds to see the show.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">This brings me to the dancing. I must wonder why a show that takes place in ancient Egypt (in the Sahara) and makes use of belly dancing costuming has almost no belly dancing in it. And what little they attempted to have was almost universally poor. Only one of the female dancers seemed to have any ability to dance using the abdominal isolations and movements so critical to good belly dancing. I found it strange because these are trained dancers and when they did other sorts of dancing, they were generally terrific. One of the other dancers was just terrible. She had so little movement or undulation to her trunk that I started wondering if she was injured or something. Also, I want to ponder the choreography. Much of it seemed like it was out of the shtetls of Eastern Europe. It was cool, but it was nowhere near what I expected. I wonder if the choreographer wanted to do more with it but couldn't do the dancing styles and experience of his cast.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Still and all, I enjoyed myself. I stood with the rest of the audience and applauded like crazy because like so many I enjoy the fairytale. I love the splendor of the Broadway musical, and I adore the magic carpet ride. I just wish the technical glitches hadn't happened and the understudies had been better rehearsed.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">My reaction to the show can be encapsulated in one instant of it. For the most part, I had a great time at the show, and I was ready to weep openly at my favorite line during the magic carpet ride, "Don't you dare close your eyes." Unfortunately, Aladdin's turban obscured the mic, and the moment was lost. </div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-43221924459572939432015-07-07T10:06:00.000-07:002015-07-07T10:09:13.278-07:00Productivity Tuesday: Maintain Good Habits By Making It Easy On YourselfIn today's episode of Productivity Tuesday, let's talk about habits. We all recognize that we have "good" and "bad" habits. I think many of us might agree that journaling is a good habit. Many of us might also agree that drinking until you puke every Friday and Saturday night is a bad habit (It might be fun every once in a great while, but it takes its toll on our bodies, spirits, emotions, and productivity in a big, bad way). We could list a variety of habits and judge their merit, but the theme that binds them all together is that we tend to do them without giving them conscious thought.<br />
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Sure, when you are four, your parent has to remind you to brush your teeth. By the time you are an adult, you've like got that habit down. If you don't do it after every meal and before bed, you at least likely brush those pearly whites when you wake up.<br />
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Many studies have shown that repetition builds habitual action. In other words, if you want to make a behavior habitual, repeat that behavior for some time et voila, it will ingrain itself into your routine and before you know it a habit is born.<br />
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That works great if nothing in your life changes, and you can develop and maintain a consistent routine. But what happens when life blasts you a curve ball? You have to roll with it and try to maintain equilibrium in the face unexpected change. Heck, even if you knew the change was coming, a disruption to your routine can make all your good intentions go the way of the do-do.<br />
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So, what do we do? How do we ride those changes and keep our good habits on deck? We do it by making it as easy as possible to continue our habits regardless of our situations. We facilitate a pattern of behavior by creating an atmosphere where that pattern can continue unimpeded regardless of outside circumstances.<br />
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Here is an example. I have a rule that I've mentioned before. Regardless of anything else going on in my life, I am required to at least step on my yoga mat, every, single day. In my world, at my house, that is easy. I know where the mat lives. I know how much time my yoga practice will take. I know how long I can go before the dog requires his morning constitutional. So, I can practice yoga and move on with the rest of my day.<br />
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But, what happens when I have to travel like I do this coming weekend? Suddenly, the routine flies out the window. I'm in a different space, different city, and with a different schedule. And on top of that, depending on where and how I am traveling, I might not be able to bring my yoga mat with me. So, I have to plan ahead and make things easy on myself.<br />
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I figure out my morning schedule. Will I have early meetings? Great! Then, I set my alarm 30 minutes early to make room for yoga. Will I need to walk my dog because he traveled with us? No? Then, that 30 minutes is bought and paid for because I can now place yoga into that time slot. If I plan it ahead of time, my routine doesn't have to change much at all.<br />
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But what happens if I can't take my mat with me? Well, some people buy Yoga Toes. I've tried them, and they don't work for me because my feet slip out of them too easily. Instead, I created my own version of a yoga travel mat. Someday, I might even make these for sale. But for now, this is what my yoga travel mat looks like. Instead of the big, long rolled up tube, I have just a few small strips to carry with me.<br />
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It does take a little extra prep time, but that conscious planning ahead of time helps me remain true to my good habits. I look at this planning as an investment in ourselves and in our future. If we keep ourselves accountable to our inner planner, we can maintain positive habits for all the days of our lives. Remember, the habit is an ingrained unconscious behavior. But the prep time to keep that habit going? That's something we can plan and implement. And that's how we thrive!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-35642367152939251102015-07-04T06:57:00.001-07:002015-07-04T07:11:28.136-07:00Thoughts on July 4th<div>My family immigrated to the USA in the early 1970s. The first place we landed was New York City. I had never seen anything like it. It was enormous, vibrant, loud, spectacular.</div><div><br></div><div>We moved to Michigan literally the day after we arrived and settled just outside Detroit. I acclimated pretty quickly and learned English within a couple of months (no ESL program in our schools meant immersion learning for me). </div><div><br></div><div>In some ways, it felt like this country fit me like a glove. In other ways, I have a feeling I will always feel a little other, a little different. Some of my original culture (former Soviet Union) and some of the cultures of where we lived in the year-long immigration process during my formative years rubbed off on me and impact how I act, react, feel, and live to this day.</div><div><br></div><div>Regardless, this country, this vast, magical, creative, sometimes brutal, often magnificent land welcomed me (and my family) into its great big salad bowl of a nation. I am grateful.</div><div><br></div><div>Happy July 4th. May all beings be free to live, love, and pursue happiness.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-34974069645086646942015-07-02T14:31:00.001-07:002015-07-09T04:31:40.991-07:00Communication Thursday: Just Exactly How Do You Inhale? (part 2 of
proper breathing)<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">In the previous post, we talked about proper posture when standing or sitting to communicate. To recap: stand with your feet hip-width apart (draw an imaginary line from your second toes, through the center of your ankles, the center of your knees and then up to the hip points [the parts that just out to the front]). Stack your spine so that it maintains its natural curvature back to front but is stacked straight up and down from side to side.</span><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">To breathe and stand properly, imagine that your belly is a submarine. Now imagine the hollow tube of the periscope going up the spine and through the lungs and up into the mouth. Your mouth then becomes the viewfinder. If a periscope isn't straight and curved where it is supposed to be straight and curved, it won't work. In the same vein, if your spine isn't straight, then the breath won't work, or at least it won't work efficiently.<br><br>Now, practice inhaling. Let the breath come into your belly. In other words, allow the belly to expand as you inhale. Imagine a balloon where your organs would be. If you filled that balloon with air (like taking a breath), it would expand. And your trunk needs to do the same thing when you inhale. So, when you inhale, let the lungs expand, and then your diaphragm (the muscle below your lungs) will flatten out and down and will by necessity move the organs below it out of the way to make room. That's why your belly expands on a proper inhale.<br><br>The other part of this? Your shoulders have to stay relaxed. If they rise up on the inhalation, you are doing bang-up job of breathing into the top third of your lungs, but you are not getting any air into the lower two-thirds. And in order to breathe fully, the lungs have to be fully or nearly filled. Try another inhale. Did your shoulders rise up? Yes? Well, in that case, we need to bring out the big guns, as they say. <br><br>For this next part, you will want to be somewhere you can comfortably lie down, and you will need a book. If you need to wait until you are at home, go for it. I'll be right here when you come back ...<br></span><br style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"></div><div>Okay, now that you are some place where you can lie down, grab the book, and lie down. Lie flat and comfortably. Place the book on your belly and take in a deep breath. Now exhale. Do it again. What happens to the book on your belly when you inhale?</div><div><br></div><div>With any luck, you said, "The book rises when I inhale." That is exactly what should happen. The book should rise on an inhalation and it should fall on the exhalation. Take another few breaths and get accustomed to the feeling of the book rising and falling on the inhalations and exhalations. Next, take note of your shoulders. What's happening to them as you breathe while lying down?</div><div><br></div><div>What I'm hoping you realize is that they don't move. When you lie down to breathe, your shoulders have no choice but to remain still because they are resting against the floor or the bed, etc. That frees you up to allow the trunk to expand outward properly since the shoulders can't rise. Please remember that when the shoulders rise on inhalation, we are only filling up the top parts of our lungs, and since what we are after is a full breath, we need to remove the shoulders from the equation. The, "Lie down and put a book on your belly," technique is a perfect way to practice that.</div><div><br></div><div>Take a few more deep breaths lying down and try to remember what that feels like. Then stand up and try it that way. See if you can maintain that same feeling of keeping the shoulders down and relaxed while the belly expands.* </div><div><br></div><div>Once you have that in your body and are comfortable with it, you will be one giant step closer to breathing fully and deeply. And you will be far more able to breathe properly. The next technique we will discuss will be the exhalation and the supported breath. Now that you know how to inhale properly, next week, we will learn how to exhale and use your supported breath to speak and communicate more effectively.</div><div><br></div><div> *<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Bear in mind, this sort of deep breathing might make you a little light-headed so be careful as you deepen your breath. If you do get lightheaded, sit down and put your head between your knees until the feeling passes.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-28796344754036580742015-07-02T10:53:00.000-07:002015-07-02T14:39:19.066-07:00They all say to stop and breathe, but how exactly do we do it?Oh my goodness there are a ton of posts on mindfulness, meditation, and anxiety reduction. Almost all of them have some form of, "stop, be still, and breathe to calm yourself." It's great advice. And it works. The trouble is, how do you stop, be still, and breathe when you might be scared, anxious, nervous, or downright freakin' out?<br>
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What are the magical steps? How do you grab onto the focus and calm that lets you take any sort of breath when you are already stressed? And even if you manage to take a deep breath, are you doing it correctly? Will you get the most relaxation bang for your inhalation buck?<br>
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Most of us breathe inefficiently. I've taught thousands of people to sing and speak and I've watched them breathe to assess what they are doing and how they are doing it. Almost every single person breathes in such a way that she or he uses up a great deal of energy and motion on the breath but almost never gets the full benefit of either that breath or that energy expenditure.<br>
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So, let's take a look at breathing. In these next few posts on Communication Thursdays, we'll go over it step by step, and get you the information you need to breathe deeply and effectively.<br>
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We breathe involuntarily. We don't think about it. Some people have to think about it because it's not a voluntary action to them and that must be arduous. Others have breathing issues like asthma, and although this post might be helpful to them, I admit it's not geared towards them. For the rest of us, breathing requires almost no thought. If we aren't sick or having other breathing issues, we breathe easily. However, although we breathe easily, we often breathe inefficiently. And if we want to reap the rewards deep breathing can bring, we must become efficient breathers. With full and mindful breathing, we will reap the many benefits that such breathing can bring.<br>
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Let's take the next few minutes together and breathe with purpose. I'll show you how. Stand up (if you aren't already) and take a big ol' breath. I'll wait right here. :)<br>
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How did that feel?<br>
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Did your shoulders rise up when you inhaled? Did your belly, back, and chest feel tight or cramped? If you don't remember, bring your awareness to your body, take another breath and try to answer these questions. I'll bet you answered yes to at least one of them. If so, then you can improve your breathing.<br>
<br>Did you feel balanced when you inhaled? How did it feel to take that deep breath? See if you can become aware of how you are inhaling and exhaling. Take care if you start to feel a little lightheaded. We are not used to deep breathing and the extra oxygen can make us feel a little woozy. If you start to feel that, sit down, relax and try it again after the feeling passes.<div><br></div><div>Ready to try again? Good.</div><div><br>Now, let's take the breaths we were taking and make them even better. </div><div>First, let's think about our alignment. Whether we are breathing deeply to sing, speak, address discomfort or just for the sake of these exercises, it is a good idea to maintain good posture and alignment. Let's start from the bottom. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Our stance is the core of good breath. And a good stance will be to keep your feet hip width whether or you are standing or sitting. So, let's try it. </span>Stand (or sit, if that is what is comfortable for you) with your feet hip width apart. To make sure your feet are hip width apart, stand (or sit) with your feet facing forward draw an imaginary line from your second toe (of each foot), through the middle of your ankle, up through the middle of your knee, and up to your hip points. Hip points are the part of your hip that points in front of you or juts out to the front. It is not the outside of your hips. If you stand with this alignment, you are well on your way to maintaining good posture.</div><div><br></div><div>Next time, we will talk about your trunk, shoulders, neck, and head and how to maintain proper alignment in those parts of your body. Once you have proper alignment, we will talk inhalations, exhalations, and every part in between to get you breathing deeply, fully, and effectively.</div><div><br></div><div>In the meantime, whenever you must speak, sing, or even just stand for any length of time, try to remember this alignment tip. It will help you stand longer and more easily. </div><div><br></div><div>Until next time, here's a thought on breath.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-5XDGGyJkyQU/VZWve4tzJfI/AAAAAAAABLg/h1ZrRyj7nkY/s640/blogger-image-1147925660.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-5XDGGyJkyQU/VZWve4tzJfI/AAAAAAAABLg/h1ZrRyj7nkY/s640/blogger-image-1147925660.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div><br><br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2479334310755590591.post-70331189688837817562015-06-30T08:57:00.000-07:002015-06-30T08:57:05.490-07:00Productivity Tuesday: On the count of 5I stay busy. I work 10-14 hours almost every day. I have seven different businesses going at the same time. So, if I'm going to get anything done, I'd better be efficient and productive.<br />
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I wish I could do it consistently, but like everyone, I go through periods where I just don't want to get up and do the next thing on my list. I'll get distracted away from starting my task. And if distractions don't present themselves, I'll seek them out. I'll sit on Facebook. I'll check Twitter. I'll brush the dog (that needs to be done daily since he's a Husky, but it doesn't need to be done right when I decide to do it because I'm avoiding drafting the invoice I have to create). I'll pretend like the task I end up doing was important enough to put off while the actual task that sits patiently on my to-do list waiting to be checked off as completed.</div>
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The resistance to starting seems to be my sticking point. Once I'm going on the task at hand, I get into it, and I do it. But up until the second I get my butt in gear and get moving, I'll seek and find the limits of my ability to procrastinate.</div>
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I've been reading a lot about how the brain is a habit-seeking structure. If what we need to do is habitual, we will get it done, often without thinking about it. Imagine brushing your teeth. For most of us, by the time we are adults, brushing our teeth has habitualized to the point that we rarely need to remind ourselves to do that. We might still need to remind ourselves to floss, but at least the brushing gets accomplished.</div>
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In other aspects of my life, I've developed a paradigm where I give myself permission to procrastinate before beginning a task. Sometimes, we just need that extra down time in order to recharge. But, for many of us, that extra few minutes turns into hours or even days. Suddenly, weeks have passed, and we are no closer to the goal. </div>
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The setting and achieving of long term goals is for another post (perhaps that will be next week's Tuesday post). For today, I'm talking about small but important tasks we know we must do but do a great job of avoiding.</div>
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So, here's where the Count of 5 comes in. When I need time to procrastinate, I make that time a micro length. Instead of allowing myself minutes or hours to wallow in the sty of procrastination and avoidance, I give myself a count of 5. Now, that count of 5 (a simple 1, 2, 3, 4, 5) can be as long and languid as my breath can make it. I give myself that micro-break to think and dream about whatever I want. I release all need or anxiety about the task I need to begin. I float on a cloud of relaxation and enjoy the heck out of myself without thoughts of working, doing, or planning. I allow myself the pleasure of existence without stress. And I count to five. At the end of the five, I get up, I get moving, and I begin the task. Knowing that I had that time to myself without stress helps me proceed and blast off.</div>
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To me, utilizing this micro-break relaxation paradigm is a critical component of my productivity. If I give myself permission to revel in the freedom of those few seconds, that rejuvenation allows me to rise, forge ahead, and thrive.</div>
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Try it and let me know how it works for you.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06609201421201254367noreply@blogger.com0