What's happening here and how do we all fix it?

I'm starting to wonder whether there is something happening to our species genetically/evolutionarily that we are seeing such a rise in what I term utter cruelty to those who are more defenseless than ourselves, whether it is just that we hear more about it in the information age, or whether this is a reaction to overall feelings of despair, helplessness, and powerlessness in our society/world. In my opinion, when people feel powerless, they will sometimes strike out at those more powerless than they are in order to get some control over the chaos of their lives. There are other paths and many take them. I realize that. But, this "If I subdue this child/cat/dog, etc., therefore I have control," issue feels more and real and valid to me.

The vile man who viciously beat his puppy (a post I put up yesterday on FB), the deviant who duct-taped a cat's face and paws shut (but left him in the parking lot of an animal shelter) so the kitty almost died, the bombing in Boston, and so many others that I have seen and been sickened by - what do they all have in common?

And what's more important, how do we treat the disease rather than the symptoms? How do we find the spark that will lead to awareness of the plight of others: people, animals, the environment? I can't help thinking that awareness will lead to compassion, and compassion will lead to action. Eventually, to survive, our species will have to find compassion and act on it, or I fear we will destroy ourselves. We live in a global village. We can no longer afford to not notice or not care about how others are treated.

Don't get me wrong. I realize that I am privileged. I live well. I do work I love. One of the reasons I can even spend time contemplating this issue is because I am not doing back-breaking work in a field somewhere. By accident of birth, by the choices my parents made to bring us to the USA, by a lot of luck, I have a very different life than I otherwise might have had.

But, the life I have is the life I have and because of this, I need to speak out, ask the questions, and act. How do we combat this trend? What can we do, individually, to change the trajectory?

I feel like Master Yoda had it right. I'm paraphrasing here: Greed, anger, hate - these lead to the dark side. I believe with all my heart that they do. And with all my heart, I believe we can change. We can grow. We can find compassion and not just for those in our immediate circles. We can see one another and all beings as part of a greater whole. When we see each other, truly see each other, we recognize all as part of our one big, noisy, infinite, chaotic, glorious family. We all matter: the children, the women, the men, the animals, the plants, the rocks, the waters, the clouds, the very air we breathe. Each must be equally important if we are to survive and dare I say it, thrive.

Today's Tarot: Four of Pentacles (Control, taking stock, being possessive)

Today's Tarot: Four of Pentacles

(Control, Taking Stock, Being Possessive)

The Four of Pentacles always makes me think of grabbing my life's bull by its horns and the difference between how others view us and how we view ourselves. Let's take the words self-centered. In our society, we generally have a negative view of someone if we describe them as self-centered. To that, I say, exactly what is wrong with being centered on yourself? 

Certainly, we all have responsibilities and we all live up to them to varying degrees. However, we also have a responsibility to ourselves, to take care of ourselves, and to see to our own wellbeing. Many of us will put ourselves dead last as we try to satisfy the needs of those around us way before we ever look to see what we need.

So, today, I challenge all of us to be greedy. To be greedy with ourselves. I challenge each of us to evaluate what we need out of every situation and every interaction we have. And furthermore, I say we then act in that self-interest, not in a "I only care about myself" kind of way, but rather in a "I also care about myself" kind of way.

If we are possessive with our time, our energy, and our resources, if we dole them out in a manner that is mindful about what our needs are in the moment, then we will not only have more peace, but we will be able to do what needs doing from a place of giving rather than a place of obligation.

Giving selflessly because we have already taken care of our own needs (or are at least mindful of those needs), puts us in a place to really be present and helpful to those around us. On the other hand, when we give out of duty or obligation while disregarding our own needs, everything about our interactions has a pinched, closed quality and that trick never works (to quote a famous squirrel).

The goal: Being mindful of our needs

The Mission: Evaluate your needs and then act out of that place of being centered on yourself.

New Year's Words to Ski By

Here are some words of wisdom from my dear friend John. I don't know what brought this moment back to me, but it did change my perspective on life, the universe, and everything and New Year's Eve seems like the perfect time to remember.

Back in college, four of us went on a ski weekend to Georgia Bay in Canada. I had never skied before and was nervous. John is pretty much an Olympic class skier and wasn't and the others in our group were somewhere in between our skill levels.

I stayed on the bunny slope and they all went off to ski various quintuple black tetrahedron runs (no, not really, but I wasn't leaving the bunny trail so what did I know?).

For those of you who don't know, skiing in Georgia Bay tends to be icy with perhaps a sprinkle of snow. It's not the white powder you find in other parts of the world. It's hard. It's slippery, and it'll take you down faster than you can order a hot buttered rum.

I want you to know that I tried. I really tried. But, of course, on my first time down the bunny hill, I fell and twisted my knee. Luckily, it swelled up in such a way that I was able to hold it in the correct position to keep skiing so I kept at it (yes, I was a dumbass and I do know better now). While the others skied where they chose, I became better acquainted with the bunny hill and every single possible place on it to fall, slip, roll, and otherwise land on my butt.

During one of my attempts, John skied toward me. I remember marveling at how much control he had as he slowly skied up. His skis whispered across the ice as he slalomed alongside me. I was fumbling and bumbling and almost falling and had no control of speed, trajectory, or whether or not I was going to pee my pants.

"How's it going," he asked as he pulled up beside me.

"I've fallen every single time I've skied this damn hill," I grumbled and gainfully held back tears. (To this day, I don't know if he knew how I upset I was, but we were good enough friends that I could cry in front of him and he wouldn't have teased me about it, at least not then.)

"That's good," he replied.

"Good?" I was shocked. "why is it good?"

"It's good to fall," John said as he paced me with utter control of his skis. "I fall a lot when I ski," he continued.

"You do?" I asked incredulously.

"Yep," he said. "If you don't fall when you ski, you aren't skiing hard enough."

I am sure he didn't realize the impact those few words would have on me, but that bit of wisdom has stayed with me. And every single time I go up against a new challenge I remind myself of that simple statement. "If you don't fall when you ski, you're not skiing hard enough."

Words to live by.