Learn (to) Find Joy (in) Solitude

Eight of Pentacles (reversed), Ten of Cups, The Hermit

Sometimes, we think we know it all and other times we realize just how much else we have to learn. This week's cards give a little of both. Here we go...

The Eight of Pentacles is the card of the student. This doesn't necessarily mean going to school in the formal way, though it can. It can also mean keeping ourselves open to learning what the world around us has to teach us. If I use my own life as an example, I am one of the least zen people you will ever meet. I have little tolerance for either being put down or seeing others get put down, and I have no tolerance whatsoever for deliberate cruelty. If you are being deliberately cruel either to me or in a situation where I am a witness, be prepared to be called out on it. Life is too short to waste feeling bad because of someone else's thoughtless words or actions. So, the Eight of Pentacles tells us that either we need to learn the lesson of chilling out and not taking what other people say so seriously (the more zen way) or we need to learn the lesson standing up for ourselves (the not-so-zen way [and yes, I know I'm over-simplifying zen here. So, please don't rake me over the coals here.). Either way, the lesson is ours. Someone well versed in zen might say something along the lines of, we each have a path full of lessons. How do we know that the person who is being put down isn't supposed to learn the lesson of how to respond to these words or more importantly how to practice detachment from the harsh words of others? We don't know, but that isn't the point. Often, the only thing we do know is that in the moment, our feelings (or others' feelings) are hurt and we need to deal with immediate situation. Practicing detachment comes later. Monday or Tuesday of this week you will get an opportunity to practice detachment from someone's thoughtless words. Try, really try to remember that they have no real clue what they are saying. Treat them like a "me now" five-year-old and it will be much easier to handle.

Wednesday and Thursday will bring a blossoming joy. The Ten of Cups provides us with an opportunity to just enjoy the heck out of ourselves (particularly at home or with family). At first, it won't seem like fun, but trust me, once you get into it, it will be. Here's another tidbit from my own life. A few months ago, I attended a convention. I was seated at dinner next to someone I didn't know but I had seen him present on a topic at the convention. He was not a good presenter. He tried but did not really know how to connect with us; he didn't seem like someone you could easily talk to. And remembering that, I felt hesitant to sit next to him. I had already prejudged him and that would be to my shame because holy moly, he was fabulous! Once we got to talking, it turned out that we had a ton a in common, similar backgrounds, a deep mutual interest in folk and ancient musical traditions, and mythology. We had a fantastic and enjoyable conversation and I look very forward to seeing him again at the next convention in December. So, when the opportunity comes, even if it seems like it won't be all that, do it, go for it, try it. You'll like it.

Friday and Saturday will bring some time for repose. Take it! The Hermit provides the opportunity for solitary pondering. And you need it. Heck, we all need it. We all need down time in order to find out, well, just about everything. Want to know your next step? Spend time daydreaming. Want to know which way to go? Spend time reviewing your options. Granted, you could talk it over with others, but that will likely shush the voice that is most important in this scenario. And that's your inner voice. That's the one that most needs to be heard. Spend time in solitude and you will hear it. Once you know the path, you get to go do it. And that is just fabulous.

Self-centered or centered on yourself?

Today's cards: Judgment, Four of Pentacles, Three of Rods. Hmm, well, I got a travel card, and I'm traveling today. Anyone else traveling today? If so, take up whatever opportunity you see while you are out and about. Judgment talks to us about making the hard choices, listening to our innermost desires, and taking a stand. It's either a stand for what we believe in or a stand for what we want, but either way, take a stand. Whew, that sounded convoluted. Ultimately, I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you don't stand up for what you want or believe, why should anyone else?


The four of Pentacles is about greed. Now, it can be the grabbing, yucky kind of greed, or it can be the kind of greed that has you being centered on yourself. The phrase self-centered has gotten a really bad rap over the years. In fact, I bet when you read the phrase, you felt a little icky. No one wants to be described that way because it has such a negative connotation. It means you are an egotist (remind me to write about what it means to be an egotist at some point), you're selfish, or you're only concerned about what you want and need. Right? Do you consider that a negative? Being centered on what you want and you need? If not, I say good onya. If so, I'll ask you to think about what's wrong with taking some time to assess what you need and being focused on that. I think most people could use a little more time being centered on what they really need. I believe the surprise would come when many of those people realized that their needs are very different from the surface-level material things most of us think they are. 


In fact, I'd say that if we all spent some time being greedy with ourselves, our time, our thoughts, our feelings, we'd discover that our actual needs are basic and few. The trappings of greed: power, wealth, material possessions, etc., don't tend to truly satisfy. I believe they've done happiness studies of people the world over and they determined that a lot of people in what many would consider to be poor countries, describe themselves as happier than those in countries with a higher per capita income, etc. What seems to be key to happiness are human connections. Alan B. Krueger said, "Much of what contributes to wellbeing happens outside markets." From Gallup's Economics of Happiness, "Though the study of what makes people in societies around the world feel positive about their lives begins with their relative economic status, it doesn't end there." There was a forum on happiness (around the world) and they studied responses from 130 different countries. What they found was there was a correlation between a certain amount of money and happiness, but that was only the beginning. True life satisfaction came from having other types of needs met. And today, I say, focus on that. Besides money, what are other ways you can get life satisfaction? Make a list of what makes you happy. See how many things on that list have nothing to do with what you can buy. And then go grab a few of those things and play.