A bikini and a swimming pool: A lesson in body image

(This might offend some, but it's what I'm thinking about so consider yourselves warned.) 

I'm too much a product of my upbringing. And that saddens me. But, I'm so proud of the people in front of me, and that makes me weep joyful tears.

I'm hanging out by the pool, and we are in "The Europeans have landed" mode. There are no fewer than four families from various parts of Europe hanging out by the pool before we all disburse to our various activities for the day.

A few particular people have caught my eye. Two girls, who are about twelve or thirteen are frolicking in the pool. Both are wearing bikinis. Neither is thin. At all. Both have bellies that hang out over their bikini bottoms. Both have full, big hips and thighs. Both are doing their thing without a care as to whether or not they "should" be wearing bikinis with the kind of figures they have. They are just doing it and having a blast making handstands and somersaults and giggles. 

When I was their age, I would not have dreamed of putting a bikini on my body. My breasts alone would have made wearing a two-piece suit an impossibility. Heck, to this day, I wouldn't dream of it because frankly the straps cutting into my shoulders would be too painful unless I pay big money for a custom-made suit, which I won't be doing (and I like my low-cut one-piece purple and pink suit just fine, thank you very much. :) ). But the big issue? Both my parents let me (and my sisters) know that we were too fat and that we should not ever reveal ourselves like that in public. They reinforced that message daily in ways big and small. 

So, while I loved the water, the pool, and the beach, I covered myself up. Some of you, who took swimming with me in high school might remember that I wore a t-shirt over my swimsuit. I was a great swimmer. I could do a backwards dive off the high board (and did and that was how I got an automatic A in the class) and not blink an eye. I have since learned how to scuba dive. And you know what? Never would I do it while wearing a two-piece suit. How strange and sad is that!

We all get messages from the world at large about what we should and shouldn't do. And the messages fall on a continuum. The hope is that our  parents would fall on the positive end of that scale. The wish is that they would land squarely on the "You go girl! You are awesome! And how great that you can dive off the high dive (regardless of what you are wearing)!" side of things.

But often, too often, we receive the exact opposite messages from parents and other elders whose job it is to help us develop a strong sense of self and a healthy ego. I didn't have children, but I like to think I would fall on the positive end of that spectrum. I certainly try to support the young people in my life as they stretch and grow. I do have some views on being too sedentary at too young an age, but that has little to do with body image and a lot to do with good health, wellbeing, and quality of life. 

I wish I could come up to these young women and tell them how incredible I think they are. And I wish I could give the parents a "high five" for doing such a great job raising their kids. Both girls are well-adjusted, happy, adventurous, and fantastic. And they have their parents' support as they develop. I would love it if everyone had the opportunity to feel that way as they grow up.

I also wish we lived in a society where what a girl or woman chooses to wear wasn't up for debate or discussion. As I said first thing, I hope that part of this essay doesn't offend people. I guess I'm a product of my society as much as I am one of my upbringing. I still wonder and question and ponder these issues and how they affect women and girls all over the world.

Right now, the dad and one of the daughters are hanging out in the pool. They are giggling and bouncing and having a great time. He is helping her straighten her underwater handstand. He is providing support, encouragement, advice, and a boundary as she explores this new skill. And as far as I'm concerned those are four of the biggest and best things parents can do for their kids.

How Often Do I Move? An Experiment to Learn My Patterns

So, I'm running a wee experiment on myself. It occurs to me that I have become a bit too sedentary. Certainly, when I'm on the go, I'm out and running. But, when I'm at home, I'm noticing my tendency to sit (pretty still) and work and get stiff and hurt. It got me to thinking about how much physical activity I'm doing in any given day. I want to figure out how much and what kind.

So, here's what I'm going to do. I've set up an alarm system that will ring a bell every twenty minutes for twelve hours. During that time, every time the bell rings, I will need to do something physical. If I am already doing something physical (yoga, hiking, etc.) then I will need to up my game and do it faster or deeper depending on what is appropriate. If I am not doing something physical, if I am instead practicing music, or writing, or watching a movie, I'll be required to get up and do something like yoga, Tai Chi, stretching, jumping jacks, kickboxing, etc., for a period of at least one minute. Then, I'll go back to my previous activity.

I have a number of reasons for this.

First, I recognize that if I don't move and move pretty often, I get horribly sore. So, I need to move more and this experiment will accomplish this goal.

Second, I'd like to know exactly how I'm spending my time. Am I wasting a lot of it on tv or movies or games (not terribly, I don't think, but I'd like to know regardless).

Third, I think once I know exactly how I'm spending my time, I'll know what, if anything, I want to change to help myself be more efficient when I'm working, more productive when I'm practicing or writing, and more physical regardless of what I'm doing.

I'm going to chart my progress and likely put up little pie charts here to see what happens.

Today, I'm just setting practicing how I need to set up my metrics (what activities I generally do and how they will be entered into my database), and I'm also making sure that I do indeed get up and move when the alarm goes off.

There will be times, like when I am with a client, that I will not be able to complete my motion requirements (clients tend to frown on you getting up and doing jumping jacks while you're supposed to be reading for them or energy work on them). And I will need to see what sort of consequences I will make myself face when I do not engage in a physical activity when the alarm rings. I think it will likely be something like extra motion for longer as soon as I *can* do something, but I am not sure.

If you want to track my progress, I'll be updating everything here. I'm going to try and run this for a week and see how it goes.

Looking forward to this.

Begin at the beginning, or the middle, or the end, but begin.

Today's cards: Ace of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles. Well, then today is about beginnings. It's the first day of the rest of your life. If not now, when? Be here, now. Let's see, are there any others? Yeah, likely, but for the moment, these will do.

The Aces really speak about turning a page, in our hearts and our bodies. Begin to forgive. Begin to exercise (daily). Begin to eat healthfully. Begin to love. Begin to trust. Begin to stabilize. Begin to truly look for a job. The opportunities for a blank slate are endless, particularly if you are about  to begin a new chapter in health, wellness, and well-being.

Be the person who does these things, not because you feel guilty, by the way, but because it's time. It's time to make some changes, both sweeping and small. One tiny change in perspective, habit, action, etc., can create a ripple effect that will revolutionize our lives. Do that. That's what the page is all about. The Page is the person who takes on the task in a practical and studied manner. The Page makes revolutionary changes, one tiny step at a time.

Good luck. Oh and my change? I promise myself three things. One: I will drink water, first thing, when I wake up in the morning. No matter what. Two: I will make some sort of music, daily, whether it's singing in the car, playing recorder, guitar, or violin, or writing songs that I hum in the shower. Three: I will do yoga every single day, no matter what. Even if it's just five minutes of stretching and breathing, in bed, right before I drop off to sleep, I will do it. The yoga and music have been happening since April first. The water is new today, but all three will happen until something else either needs to be incorporated or released.

Last, but most certainly not least, if you are trying to get pregnant, today is an excellent day to go have sex with wild abandon. The moon is just past full. The Page represents the young person. And the Aces? Well, they're all about beginnings in body and heart.

---
If you like this write-up, please share it. Thanks!