A call to action: Let's take back our calm

So many of us all over the world are feeling squeezed in a pressure cooker.  So, I am calling for a moment of breathing all together. Are you willing?

I invite everyone who reads this to join in and share it wide. 

This afternoon at say five pm (EST)? Who will stop what they are doing and do some military breathing* with me? 

If you want take back your calm, comment here. I will post it live here and guide it. 

Share this if you want. Let's take back some of our calm all together. 

I send you peace. 

Here is the link tot he facebook post where I will be guiding the breathwork

https://www.facebook.com/izolda.trakhtenberg/posts/10153313460779895?ref=notif&notif_t=like

*Military breathing is a stress-reduction technique used by first responders and people in the military to remain calm in high stress situations.

Finding Strength In Weakness

My thoughts this morning turn to finding strength in my weakness.

I was working with clients over the weekend. One of them talked about how he felt weak and that he wanted to go back and be strong how he used to be.

I said, "Wait, don't try to go backward to find that strength. Look forward to the strength you will find as you move through this time of weakness. That is where we find our strength, when we feel the most weak and vulnerable. We have to go through each step, good and bad, in order to find ourselves."

Then, I talked to them about my violin. It is an old instrument, from 1872. I have owned it since I was nine years old. It had a beautiful sound. About 20 years ago, I was walking with it down a flight of stone steps. I stumbled. It fell and cracked. My heart broke along with it. I took it to Violin House of Weaver (now Potter's Violins), which is one of the best Violin Houses in the world. 

"We'll take care of it," they promised. "You won't be able to tell the difference."

I had my doubts but I left it with them. In the meantime, to prepare for upcoming gigs a friend was kind enough to lend me his violin while mine was being repaired.

During that time, burglars broke into our house and stole a bunch of stuff. They stole my friend's violin. We tried in vain to find it at local pawn shops, but we never did. Luckily, we had insurance and while we weren't able to retrieve his violin, we were at least able to get him money for it. I still feel badly about that, but there was nothing we could have done to prevent it.

Meanwhile, my violin was still being repaired. In my heart of hearts, I knew it would never sound the way it had. I knew it would forever be broken, but I waited it out until the day came to go pick it up.

"Play it," the man behind the counter encouraged me.

I ran the bow across the strings and it was magic! The instrument sounded better than it had before.

"How did you do that?" I asked as I put my lovely violin away.

"The glue we use now works with the fibers of the wood on a molecular level," he replied. "It fills the cracks perfectly and then vibrates with them the way the wood itself would. Like a broken bone, where it was shattered will now be stronger than before. You lost monetary value when you dropped it, but you haven't lost the instrument."

I thanked him, and I left. 

It was only much later that I realized that if I hadn't dropped the violin, I would indeed have lost it and sooner than I thought. If it hadn't been in the shop when it was, it would have been the violin stolen when the burglars broke in. Instead, I still have it and played it just yesterday.

So now, when things fall apart, I remember my violin and how the moment it broke was the moment it was saved. 

And then, I breathe.

http://www.med.navy.mil/sites/nmcphc/Documents/health-promotion-wellness/psychological-emotional-wellbeing/Combat-Tactical-Breathing.pdf 

May this be the day things change

Dare I comment on this?

I'm afraid if I start, I won't stop and will devolve into screaming.

Somewhere, somehow, this madness has become a viable strategy for crackpots who aren't happy with the number of dates they've gotten, what someone else worships, or worse because they woke up and decided they would like to try to kill people and see what that's like.

When did that happen? How have we become so warped as a society that this is somehow a path that is even open for consideration? How has violence, extreme violence, become such a commonplace response to stimuli? And what's more important, what can we do about it?

I could rage against the lax gun laws, and if you know me, you already know my thoughts on that. So, I won't. I could rage against the ease with which people can get guns illegally (heck I could get one tomorrow and no one would be the wiser). And I'm not going to do that either. I could ponder the thought that I've been having that the paradigm of computer games and movies which show people dying again and again and then coming back like nothing ever happened has changed our consciousness and our awareness of death and its permanent status. (I read for enough young people who tell me that have contemplated "the suicide" [their words] as a method of dealing with their unhappiness to know that they aren't truly aware that they won't come back to a better, brighter future after they have died. They don't seem to grok that it is permanent. And we spend time talking about that during their readings before I give them the number of the suicide hotline and the therapist I know who lives closest to them [yes, I keep a database].) There are any number of issues we could highlight as the reason so many choose this as a course of action.

But, in the end, it doesn't matter because people are dead. Young people who had dreams and lives they wanted to live are gone. They will never have the chance to live their purpose. That is what matters. And what's more, the guy who killed them is dead and that means we can't study him and find out what transpired inside his twisted brain that made this an okay thing to do and apparently to promote on cchan beforehand. 

Because ultimately, that is what I want to know and change. I want to know why these people are doing it. I want to know what sort of issue inside them calls them to this extreme and abhorrent course of action. I can't help thinking that if we figure it out, we will be able to change the future.

I hope so. I hope we can determine the root cause of this decision and figure out a way to avert it. Or it will get worse. 

I am an idealist. I want to see and live in a society where no one kills or is killed. I want to see us all work together to usher in a peaceful world. This morning that ideal feels much farther away. And yet I cling to hope.

My heart and thoughts are with those who are wounded and the families of those who were murdered. 

May this be the day things change.

Be the Change You Want to See In Yourself

A friend posted the following quote, and I wrote the below in reaction.
--quote--
"Perhaps the source of your discontent lies in your attachment to how things should be instead of accepting how things are.”

--my response--
On many levels, I agree (that whole "be zen and accept where you are thing," yeah, that would be cool). On others, not so much. I feel like agitation or discontentment with what is often make for progress. When I don't like what is, I change it. If do nothing, then I (on some level) become part of the problem.

Now that I'm thinking about it ... yes, there are times when other people are involved that I land in positions where I can't do anything. I've said for a long time that you can't make someone feel something they don't. You can't make them love you. You can't make them feel sympathy for you. You can't make them feel sorry if they hurt you and don't feel sorry for having done so. But, when it is your life or your path you are discontented with, yeah, I think you have a responsibility to yourself to kick your own butt and make the changes you need to make to make things better. I have been going back to that one sentence I read recently that has made things so much more clear and accessible to me. "What is one thing I can do right now to improve my situation?" It might not fix things completely. It might not make a huge difference in the moment. But even a tiny action now can lead to a great shift later.

To me, that's critical.

I believe in those tiny shifts. I believe in becoming aware of patterns. I believe that the smallest action can be revolutionary if it changes how I perceive things because it will ultimately change I see the world and how I behave in it.

So that means I claim responsibility for myself. And that I'm at peace with.

How Do We Deal With Obstacles: Over? Around? Through?

We lost a big pine in the woods today. It fell right across one of the main paths the dog and I hike every day. And it got me to thinking about obstacles that fall in our path. How do we deal with them? Do we maneuver around them? Do we climb over them? Do we somehow try to push through them? How would I deal with the tree? What I try to find the path around it? Looking around, the area around where the tree fell was full of thorny bushes. So, that did not present a good way of maneuvering around this obstacle. I can't go through it because I don't have a hatchet. There is no way for me to push through the obstacle. At least not right now.

Certainly, time will take care of this particular obstacle. Within a few years, the tree will rot, and it will flatten to the ground so that it is hardly an obstacle at all anymore. That is not unlike issues that come up for me in my life. Many times I have wanted to do something about an issue. I have wanted to climb over it or push through it. But, I could not for whatever reason. And within a certain  amount of time, the issues became smaller and smaller until they were hardly nuisances. And eventually, I made peace with whatever it was that got me so riled up to begin with. And then, it was nothing more than a memory.

Now, I have an excellent memory so it's not like I'm ever going to forget whatever it was. But, that doesn't mean that it impacts my life to any great extent anymore. Just like this tree will eventually decay to the point where we won't even know it was ever there, so will whatever it is that has me so riled up today or tomorrow. Just like eventually the landscape where the tree fell will only register that perhaps the tree had once been there, my personal landscape will perhaps register that there was once an obstacle there but, it will no longer present any significant challenge. With time will come peace.

A friend just reminded me that sometimes, the obstacles end up being the very best thing that could have happened. Certainly, to keep going with the tree analogy, the tree will decay and provide nutrients and minerals for all the plants around it. It will be the compost in which many others thrive. The challenges we face can be the building blocks of a rich future harvest.

Today's Tarot: Nine of Swords (First rule, be careful with yourself)

I'll be honest. It's not the most pleasant of cards. It talks about stress, worry, potential illness, and general malaise. It doesn't mean that your day is going to be like that. It does however mean that you need to be on the lookout for those kinds of distressing feelings and situations. And then, you need to kick their asses into next Tuesday.

Unless you are physically ill in some way, the rest is all negotiable and navigate-able. The key here is to refrain from sabotaging your own balance.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night worried about something you couldn't control? Did you have trouble falling asleep in the first place? I tend to have troubles with the former. I fall asleep fine, but I wake up in the middle of the night and then my brain turns on and then I start thinking about all the details to which I need to see and then I start to worry at them like my cat Kimba does to rubberbands he finds on the floor (believe me, we try to keep them from him and he's a master at opening drawers and getting at them). And then, sleep bids me a teasing adieu and I'm up at 3am wondering how they hell I'll be ready to present to kids or write my book or see my clients or take my hike by the time it's actually time to get up and start my day.

Argh and Grrr and many other words to that effect.

What I'm trying to do is to put it in perspective. The swords are the suit of thought, reason, and deliberation. The nine is the extreme where you try to see all facets and then beat yourself up when you can't. It's the woulda coulda shoulda card in the deck and given half a chance, it will kick your butt.

So what do you do? Distract it. Take the worry and give it something nice to smell (a whiff of vanilla extract does wonders for me). Or, get up, put on your favorite dance music (I tend toward "Walkin' on Sunshine" or "When I Think of You" but I'm old school) and go crazy.

Take a break from your worries and concerns. You won't miss anything. You'll still have the list when you come. But, you will likely come back with a slightly different perspective and hopefully, it won't all feel quite so daunting anymore.

Last but not least, take care of yourself and those for whom you are responsible. At its core, the nine of  swords brings some reason for concern. If it's all internal, I encourage you to utilize the above to deal with it. If any of it is external, remember, there are only so many things you can control. Sometimes, you just have to deal with consequences in the best way you know how. And the best way will always be one where you approach your challenges from a peaceful vanilla-scented, walkin' on sunshine perspective.

Today's Tarot: Queen of Pentacles (creativity, productivity, peace, work)

Whenever I draw this card, it reminds me to enjoy the processes of my life. Sure, there are tons of things we all have to do. Often, the thought or even the stress of getting ready to do them makes them seem bigger, than they are. And when we actually bite the bullet and start, we get into the process and then the tough knots unravel before us as we get to it step-by-step.

The Queen of Pentacles is many things. She might be mother, wife, caretaker, provider, peaceful priestess, creative, producer, etc. I tend to think of her as a quiet buddha. She has no fanfare and she rarely gets accolades but she doesn't seem to need them as she quietly goes about her life, living and doing what needs doing.

She doesn't gripe and she doesn't whine. She just goes, step-by-step and does what needs to be done naturally. And, to make things more curious, she's just happy. She has found that peace and joy come from the simplest acts and she relishes every drop of that serenity as she moves through her life.

Thich Nhat Hanh wrote a book called, "Being Peace." To me, the Queen of Pentacles typifies that phrase. She doesn't have to do anything to attain peace. She simply is peace and whatever she does and whatever she produces and creates, she infuses that love of all into everything.

So today, I encourage you to enjoy and relish the processes of your world. If traffic kicks your butt (as it does mine), consciously look at the colors in the sky or enjoy whatever music is on the radio. Sing along, in different voices. Pretend you're Ethel Merman singing a Taylor Swift song. If that doesn't bring a smile to your face....

If you're doing paperwork try and stay conscious of the feel of the paper or the click of your fingers on the keys. Whatever it is that you need to do today, transform every step of it (even the yucky ones) into something you enjoy. Appreciate it for what it is, right now.  Be present. Be mindful. Be peace.

Today's Tarot: Strength (patience, strength, inner knowing)

Today's Tarot: Strength

(patience, fortitude, inner knowing)

Ah, my favorite card in the deck and not just because it depicts a woman lovingly stroking a lion.

I've always loved this card because its name belies its true meaning. The word strength implies outer, physical strength (think the Chariot card if you want to go in that direction). It makes us think of some sort of display of that strength. But the Strength card is wilier and sneakier than that. It doesn't mean strong-arming a thing. Quite the contrary, it means internal moxie, if you will. It is all about knowing your inner landscape and being at peace with it.

If you look deep inside yourself, you will find a well, no, an ocean of reserves, often, when you least expect it to actually be there. We spend our lives being tested in one way or another. And, we often feel we have failed either others' expectations of us or more importantly, our own expectations of what we can do and whom we can be.

The Strength card calls on us to go inward, to go deep, and come out the other side with the certainty that we know who we are, we understand what we can do, and we are at peace about that state of ourselves. Then, we can move forward from that place of certainty and do whatever we need to do.

So, today, if you find yourself tested, don't be a gladiator. You don't need to prove a thing to anyone but yourself. Instead of reacting strongly, close your eyes, breathe deeply and connect your innerscape with the universe's outerscape. Don't know how to do that? It's not too difficult. As your eyes are closed, breathe in and note the sensation of taking in life-giving air. Send your senses out and note what you hear, smell, and touch. Acknowledge the clothes on your skin, the hair on your head, the sounds, hums, whirs, and chirps around you, and the feel of your body, mind, and spirit in this place and this time. The beauty of this connection is that it helps us remember that we are all part of it all and that goes for us, that which challenges us, and those who stand with us or against us. Once you have that connection established, open your eyes and face your challenge. With that strength, you will prevail.

And when in doubt, remember what that fabulous sage Youmei Zhang says so eloquently: "If not this door, another door."

Today's Tarot: Queen of Pentacles (nurturing, abundance, peace-of-heart)

Today's Tarot: Queen of Pentacles.

Nurturing, abundance, peace-of-heart.

One of my favorite cards, the Queen of Pentacles calls on us to do that which can be so hard. She calls on us to stop rushing, stop stressing, and trust that things are exactly where they are supposed to be.

There is a quote, the source of which I don't know, but it goes like this: "Everything that happens, happens exactly as it should because that's the way it happens." And the longer I live, the more I think that is truth of the highest order. We can't know the extent of the pattern while we are in that pattern. It is often only later, when we have time or distance behind us that we see the whys and wherefores.

So, today, no matter where you are, choose to trust that things are where they are supposed to be. Choose to relax into the process of your life, instead of focusing on the destination. And last of all, choose to accept the peace that comes with knowing that time and distance aren't the only ways to get perspective. True, mindful acceptance of what is, is another.

http://readingsbyizolda.com