Evaluation: Or How I Use My Time

Under the heading of: "If you can't say something nice..." I just deleted a comment/critique of a divination tool a friend had posted.

I think the concept for the tool is super cool. I think the execution is too general, pedantic, and tells you *exactly* what you already know (or should already know, like, "you are not happy when people treat you like crap" [this last was paraphrased]). Everyone else in the thread was thrilled with what they got and said so in their comments. I found it only somewhat accurate and not terribly useful.

But, a critique, in that way, was not requested, and so I removed my comment. I wasn't asked to review the product. So, why did I feel the need to give my honest response? And more importantly, why did I click on it to begin with?

I'm a natural evaluator and have done that work many times. So, I tend to look at most anything new with an evaluator's eye. I also do readings and so cool new tools spark my interest. Those explain why I clicked and why I evaluated in my head. But the question remains, why did I feel the need to write my thoughts down and post them in a comment?

Perhaps, that was this tool's use for me. I sparked my own thinking about how I use my time.

 

I believe this is about awareness, evaluation, and vigilance. If I remain aware about where my time is going, I can evaluate my activities and thoughts in the present moment. If I am on task towards my ultimate goals,* I am good to go. If I am not, I must remain vigilant of activities that waste my time and correct my course in the moment.

How about you? How do you maintain your course towards your ultimate goal? Do you set up reminders? Do have an easy or tough time with staying focused?

*More on Ultimate Goal coming soon.

Keeping Our Cool (Strategies for Maintaining Focus While Competing)

(Over the next few posts, I will look at how to maintain focus while in competition or in other high-stress situations.)

Today, let's talk about breath.

If I have to make a list on how to maintain focus while in the midst of competition, the first item on that list would be to breathe.

Deep, long, full belly breaths have multiple benefits. First, they oxygenate the blood and get a wee bit more oxygen to the brain, which keeps us more awake and alert, and able to think clearly and purposefully. Second, we have more oomph in our muscles. Third, when we focus in on breath, other issues melt away. See, the thing is that conscious breathing requires uninterrupted focus. When you focus on your breath, you have to cede focus on other aspects of what's going on to concentrate on your body's expansion and contraction on the inhalation/exhalation cycle.

Do you want to do that when you are playing a fast-moving sport like basketball? It's a good question. I would say that perhaps in the moment, an athlete has to let his or her body take over and let the muscle memory, instincts, and intuition do what needs to be done (that's where practice practice practice comes in and we'll be talking about that in a future post). Things are moving too fast to slow down, step back and just breathe. However, at the point when that athlete stands at the free throw line and must focus, concentrate, and throw a perfect basket, that is absolutely the time to stop, step back, breathe, focus, create your intention, see your intention becoming reality and then making it so.

So, when things coalesce into the pinpoint reality of "do it now or don't do it at all," of when circumstances converge to the make it or break it instant, that is the perfect moment to stop and breathe. That moment, that pause, that breath is crucial. It allows us a moment to find clarity and peace. Even one breath, consciously done, will give us a second of respite in the middle of whatever maelstrom we face. In that instant, we move or evolve from a being who needs to react to something that's happened to one who is moving forward with more focused clarity and acting on what needs to be changed.

Acting rather than reacting makes all the difference and the breath is what allows us to do that.

So, here's your mission for today. Wherever you are, whatever you face, take a step back and just breathe. Even if your life feels like it's careening out of control, stop, step back, and breathe. 

Here's how you do it:

If you are sitting, sit up straight. Make sure your feet are flat on the ground and about hip width apart (The way to tell if they are hip width apart is to run an imaginary line from your hip points [the jutting front part of your hip bones] down the center of your knee and through to your second toe. If that line is straight, your feet are hip width apart.)

Let your back have its natural curve but don't slouch or arch your back.

Put one hand on your belly right below your bellybutton. 

Take a deep breath. Note if your shoulders have raised as you inhaled. If they did, exhale and inhale again and try to keep your shoulders relaxed and down.

When you inhale, imagine the air that is entering your lungs is moving all the way down into where your hand is cupping your belly. You might feel the belly and your hand expand as the breath expands your torso. 

Now, exhale and feel your belly come back in and your body contract.

Do this a couple more times to get the hang of it.

When you have that part, put your other hand on your side above and to the side of your bellybutton. Keeping your hands on your body, take another deep breath. 

This time you will feel your belly expand and additionally, once your belly has expanded, keep breathing in until your feel your sides expand as well. When you feel that, exhale and imagine your side is contracting (you might even feel it) and then let your belly contract as you breathe out.

Do that a couple more times to practice it.

You will want to get to the point where you can stop and do this breath technique quickly and easily whenever you need it. 

Once you get to the point where it is simple to breathe like this, try this technique of stopping, going still, getting your feet hip width apart and taking a breath at random intervals during your day.

Eventually, you will get to the point where you are comfortable getting into the technique at a moment's notice.

Then, I encourage you to try it when you face a stressful situation, some sort of competition, or at any time when you need focus and clarity. You will be surprised at how well it works.

Next time, we focus on practice, practice, practice.

Play *your* game, not theirs. (Keeping focus while in competition)

Play your game, not theirs. I just wrote that in a text, and the more I think about it, the more I believe in the inherent wisdom of that statement.

When athletes engage in their sport, sometimes they let their opponents get inside their heads. They stop competing in the manner that is best suited for themselves and instead get seduced into playing faster or perhaps more recklessly and reacting to what is happening rather than proceeding from their own game plan. As soon as they start to do that, they lose power, focus, and their connection to their game plan. (And the game plan is important in sports and in life.)

In other words, they become more passive because instead of actively pursuing the goal they had set out for themselves, they only begin to react to what is being thrown at them. They no longer initiate their own plan of attack. They lose their power to do what needs to be done in the very next step of what they are trying to accomplish because they are so focused on beating their opponents. They lose  because they are so focused on the ultimate goal of winning that they forget to implement the best way to do that - following their plan.

Rather, they just defend themselves. That makes it much harder to win. Sure, if you are so far ahead that you can relax and just defend your position rather than actively trying to score, that's great! But how many of us can say that we feel so secure in our position that we can just do that? And I'm not talking just about sports here. I can say the same for work, fitness, and any other goal-oriented activities where we find ourselves in competition. Sometimes, we compete against others (e.g. applying for a job) and sometimes we compete against ourselves (e.g. improving our health by learning to run). It doesn't really matter which it is. What does matter is that we must constantly check in with ourselves to see if we are following our own game plan or if we have been seduced and absorbed into someone else's plan.

Chances are if they are competing against us, they don't have our best interests at heart. Additionally, if we are following someone else's generic game plan, we are still not necessarily doing what is best for us in each moment. The best way to do that is to create a plan that works for us and to consistently check in, really check in with our internal radar to make sure we are following that plan. When we do that, we will be more calm, peaceful, and able to proceed with our own plan. When we don't, we will react too quickly and often in a foolhardy manner and we will not only lose our focus, we might lose the entire game.

It is easy to fall into following someone else's plan. Urgency, fear, and anxiety overtake us and we begin to flail blindly in an effort to stave off failure. It's not the way to go.

As often happens to me, I am reminded of a movie scene that illustrates my point. Today, it's the fight between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader in "Empire Strikes Back." At first, Luke stays calm and follows his own plan. Then, Vader gets into his head, throws too many stimuli at him, and Luke loses focus and flails into failure.

I don't know what would have happened if Luke had kept his calm and played his own game during that battle. I do know it would have been a very different movie.

Tomorrow: We will look into some strategies for maintaining focus while in competition.