Today's Tarot: Nine of Rods (defense, persistence, endurance)

The wounded warrior stands, to the last, to defend the castle. She or he is heroic, brave, true and  defensive. And that last one isn't necessarily a bad thing depending on what we're going through.

Don't get me wrong. I truly believe that sometimes we are under attack. Someone has it out for us and we must do something to either defend ourselves or remove ourselves from the situation. If you choose the latter, if you can walk away, do walk away. Sometimes, you get to the point where it is no longer safe or good for you to remain where you are. Whether it's a job, an awkward meeting with an Ex, or a living situation, it doesn't matter. What matters is taking care of yourself. When you're done, be done. And then do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

We tend to think the situation in which we find ourselves is the only way things can be. We get stuck in the pattern or the paradigm and we don't remember that we can change it or at least shift it. And, we can. What stops us? Sometimes, it's habit or inertia. Often, we just aren't paying attention and suddenly we wake up and realize that we've been in a painful situation for quite some time. And then we begin the laborious process of making the changes that we need to make in order to feel better.

Certainly, we can remain where we find ourselves, stuck and miserable, but when we get to rock bottom, when we're forced into that corner, we'll make changes. We'll get into "fight or flight" and strike out in one or the other of them. The thing is that those actions are often bigger and more explosive than they would be if we had nipped the situation in the bud. When we're fighting for (what might feel like) our lives, we go big or we go home. And that can burn bridges we didn't want to burn in the first place. Remember, that quote that I've written about before, "Diplomacy is the art of telling someone to go to hell in such a way that they actually look forward to the trip."* If we want to remove ourselves from a situation, let's make it as far from incendiary as possible. Let's kill 'em with kindness and then get the heck out.

If however, we choose to defend ourselves, in some respects, we are choosing the much tougher road. Defending ourselves against those who have power over us in some way is particularly challenging because it can be risky. We need to be careful about how we do what we do, but we still need to do it. If we need to put up arms to show ourselves to be righteous, then so be it. Again though, stay vigilant and make sure you that you are true to yourself in your defense. Don't accuse others. Just defend yourself. If you can, let go of your bitterness. I'm not going to tell you to let go of your anger. Anger can be a positive force provided you don't take it out on those who don't deserve it. Anger can help propel you to great heights, but keep everything in perspective. Don't give in to the Dark Side. Let your anger help you make a clean sweep if that's what you need but stay on course and don't hurt anyone (least of all yourself).

So today, defend yourself, if you need to, but then lay down your arms. Don't go too far, go only as far as you need to to keep your peace of mind. Stay vigilant but not paranoid.

Be like the aikido master. Harmonize with your opponents' energy to help them go where they were trying to go and then help them go just a little bit farther than that. Then, they'll be out of your hair and you can go on with your life.

*-Caskie Stinnett

(Robin Wood Tarot)

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Today's Tarot: Three of Swords (heartache, betrayal, choices)

"Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool. Lovin' both of you is breaking all the rules..."

The Three of Swords always reminds me of the lyrics to this song from the 70s. It feels like you are standing at a crossroads and there are no good choices. In the song, it's about loving two people and needing to decide between them and knowing that whatever you do, someone is going to end up broken hearted. But, this set of choices doesn't have to be about relationships. It can be about whatever choices you face. And when in those situations, often its the chooser who ends up losing because the pain is often overwhelming regardless of which path she or he chooses.

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to avoid the pain of heartache or worse, heartbreak, we end up feeling torn in half by whatever occurs in our lives. It sucks but there it is. Heartache is a part of life, especially if we choose to live in the here and now and make choices in the here and now. And worse, sometimes, other people's decisions break our hearts. For example, we don't get the promotion we've worked our butts off for. We cross our fingers, say our prayers and submit a poem to a literary magazine and get rejected. We gather our courage, and audition for a play and don't get cast. We tell someone we love them and get an "Um, I really like you as a friend," in response. Whatever it is, however we have to face rejection because someone else got chosen instead of us, we still need to play the game. It's part of living. However...

There comes a day when the game is too painful and it's time to hang it up. Now, I'm not saying hang it up forever, but I am saying, for the moment, do hang it up. Step away from the ledge. Take time to lick your wounds. Don't try so hard. Protect yourself so you can heal and then come back stronger tomorrow. Don't tilt at so many windmills for the moment, if you find you don't have the energy or the heart for it.

Last night, I was at a pub celebrating a friend's Birthday. In the restroom, I overheard a young woman giving advice to a friend. She said, "Son, if the ho' don't want to be saved, don't try to save the ho'...." I took it to mean that while it's okay to tilt at some/most windmills, sometimes, no matter what you do, things will unravel and you will get hurt. So, don't turn yourself inside out and cause yourself a great deal of pain, trying to help someone who just doesn't want or need your help.

Today, that is what I encourage you to do. If the game is too much, if it's too painful. Walk away, heal, and come back tomorrow to try again.

In the words of the famous movie star, the WOPR or Joshua, "Interesting game. The only winning move is not to play."

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Today's Tarot: Death (Out with the old, in the with the new)

Before I go any further, let me state for the record that the Death card really has nothing to do with physical death. It does not portend that someone is going to die. It talks about the ending of a great cycle in our lives. Things have been moving toward an ending for a while now. Some great galaxy has been revolving slowly to a close. Some red giant star is dying so that it can have new life as a white dwarf.

Look at it like an evolutionary process. Something is ending so something else can begin. You cannot have creation without destruction. In order for anything to be created/developed/discovered, something else has to change its state. It has to end its state of being as one thing in order to emerge as the new thing.

Caterpillar to butterfly is an excellent example of this. The caterpillar goes into the chrysalis to "die," to change its state. When it emerges, it is completely evolved.

If you are burning a log of wood in the fireplace, the wood ceases to be wood. It burns and changes its status. In effect, it dies. But, its new life as flame burns brightly.

Whatever needs to end in your life, release it. End it. Let it go.

The time has come to let this paradigm come to a close so a new one can come into being. If you keep holding on to old ways of thinking, feeling, and doing, when instead it is appropriate for something new to develop, eventually you will feel paralyzed. Get in front of it because here's the kicker. The Death card says that even if you aren't ready for the big ending, it's coming anyway. Don't just get used to it. Make room. Enhance your world and your perceptions of you and your world to embrace the change.

The wave of change is coming anyway. You might as well surf it and enjoy the heck out of the ride.

I leave you with the quote from my fabulous acupuncturist Youmei Zhang: "If not this door, another door."

Personal Demons? What personal demons?

Ten of Pentacles, Page of Cups, the Hermit. Seriously? These cards? Together?? Normally, when I draw cards, I see some sort of story. This morning? Heh, it will take some doing. The best thing I can tell you is that your intuition is trying to tell you something. Stop ignoring it. Whatever is going on in your life, you're shutting your eyes and ears to an important message and the question to ask yourself is why? Why ignore what could be so very good for you? Why turn a blind eye to the truth that's been sitting up and begging to be acknowledged? Sometimes, we ignore the very thing we need to analyze, the thing that we need to address. When we do, it's often because we're afraid. Fear can be a great motivator, but it can also leave us paralyzed and today isn't a day to be paralyzed. Today is more a day to draw back and assess your feelings, your situation, and most of all, yourself.

Now, let's break down the cards. The Ten of Pentacles says you want a sense of permanence. The Page of Cups says new things are coming (especially on an emotional level) and that might be scary but needs to be addressed. The Hermit? The Hermit is a card of solitude. Allow yourself the time to be alone, and perhaps even lonely. That loneliness has information for you. It will help you figure out the very things you want and need. Look at it. Look at what makes you lonely in the moment. Is it a ghost of desires past, or is there something else you could be learning from it? Because if you can learn from this loneliness, well then, you'll never better for next time.

If you keep pushing yourself in the direction of people (who may or may not satisfy the loneliness and chances are they won't, because I'm betting it's an internal issue that needs to be addressed) then you won't make the decisions you need to make for your long-term wellbeing. Here's what sucks: what's good (or seems good) for you in the moment, is not necessarily good for you in the long run. So, consider turning your back on the shiny, pretty distractions. Instead, focus in on yourself, even if that kind of assessment scares you. Now, today, if you're going to get information on how to proceed, on what's best for you, it's going to be because you stand up to some of your internal demons and tell them to sit down and hush. They won't necessarily disappear, but at least they'll have to take notice that you're on to them and that eventually, you will kick them out on their rear ends.

Today's Tarot: 2/20/12

2/20/12: Nine of Rods and Three of Pentacles. The Nine of Rods encourages us to get fired up today. Got a secret dream of being a stand-up comedian? Go to an open mic night? Want to learn how to run? Try the "Couch to 5k" process. Want to learn how to cook? Get a cookbook out of the library or heck, look a recipe up online and try it today. The Three of Pentacles is about doing the work. Sure, we can whine and moan about things not going the way we want them too. We've all done plenty of it, I'm certain. It can be easy to get discouraged if things aren't going our way. But, and this is a big but, the only way to improve our situation is to actually dig in and do the work (it sucks, but there it is). With the three, though, we have the tenacity to actually take that first, small step to starting. And that can be the biggest step of all. So, the nine sparks the engine, and the three is all the machinery that makes it run. On your mark! Get set! Go!