Today's Tarot: Three of Swords (heartache, betrayal, choices)

"Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool. Lovin' both of you is breaking all the rules..."

The Three of Swords always reminds me of the lyrics to this song from the 70s. It feels like you are standing at a crossroads and there are no good choices. In the song, it's about loving two people and needing to decide between them and knowing that whatever you do, someone is going to end up broken hearted. But, this set of choices doesn't have to be about relationships. It can be about whatever choices you face. And when in those situations, often its the chooser who ends up losing because the pain is often overwhelming regardless of which path she or he chooses.

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to avoid the pain of heartache or worse, heartbreak, we end up feeling torn in half by whatever occurs in our lives. It sucks but there it is. Heartache is a part of life, especially if we choose to live in the here and now and make choices in the here and now. And worse, sometimes, other people's decisions break our hearts. For example, we don't get the promotion we've worked our butts off for. We cross our fingers, say our prayers and submit a poem to a literary magazine and get rejected. We gather our courage, and audition for a play and don't get cast. We tell someone we love them and get an "Um, I really like you as a friend," in response. Whatever it is, however we have to face rejection because someone else got chosen instead of us, we still need to play the game. It's part of living. However...

There comes a day when the game is too painful and it's time to hang it up. Now, I'm not saying hang it up forever, but I am saying, for the moment, do hang it up. Step away from the ledge. Take time to lick your wounds. Don't try so hard. Protect yourself so you can heal and then come back stronger tomorrow. Don't tilt at so many windmills for the moment, if you find you don't have the energy or the heart for it.

Last night, I was at a pub celebrating a friend's Birthday. In the restroom, I overheard a young woman giving advice to a friend. She said, "Son, if the ho' don't want to be saved, don't try to save the ho'...." I took it to mean that while it's okay to tilt at some/most windmills, sometimes, no matter what you do, things will unravel and you will get hurt. So, don't turn yourself inside out and cause yourself a great deal of pain, trying to help someone who just doesn't want or need your help.

Today, that is what I encourage you to do. If the game is too much, if it's too painful. Walk away, heal, and come back tomorrow to try again.

In the words of the famous movie star, the WOPR or Joshua, "Interesting game. The only winning move is not to play."

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Today's Tarot: Death (Out with the old, in the with the new)

Before I go any further, let me state for the record that the Death card really has nothing to do with physical death. It does not portend that someone is going to die. It talks about the ending of a great cycle in our lives. Things have been moving toward an ending for a while now. Some great galaxy has been revolving slowly to a close. Some red giant star is dying so that it can have new life as a white dwarf.

Look at it like an evolutionary process. Something is ending so something else can begin. You cannot have creation without destruction. In order for anything to be created/developed/discovered, something else has to change its state. It has to end its state of being as one thing in order to emerge as the new thing.

Caterpillar to butterfly is an excellent example of this. The caterpillar goes into the chrysalis to "die," to change its state. When it emerges, it is completely evolved.

If you are burning a log of wood in the fireplace, the wood ceases to be wood. It burns and changes its status. In effect, it dies. But, its new life as flame burns brightly.

Whatever needs to end in your life, release it. End it. Let it go.

The time has come to let this paradigm come to a close so a new one can come into being. If you keep holding on to old ways of thinking, feeling, and doing, when instead it is appropriate for something new to develop, eventually you will feel paralyzed. Get in front of it because here's the kicker. The Death card says that even if you aren't ready for the big ending, it's coming anyway. Don't just get used to it. Make room. Enhance your world and your perceptions of you and your world to embrace the change.

The wave of change is coming anyway. You might as well surf it and enjoy the heck out of the ride.

I leave you with the quote from my fabulous acupuncturist Youmei Zhang: "If not this door, another door."

Today's Tarot: The Tower (radical revolutionary change. Get in front of it, if you can)

Yegads, how do I write about the Tower? It's change. It comes upon you. It often takes you by surprise. It kicks your butt and often, very often, it leaves you bedraggled and exhausted but clinging to a new shore on which you will leave a vastly different and generally better life.

When a client draws this card, I almost always end up saying, "Life will never be the same," as part of the explanation for what is happening or what will happen.

The best we can do is prepare but even those careful preparations don't mean a hill of beans compared to the awesome power of the Tower.

I'll give you an example from my own readings. A client, Marla* came in for a reading. In the slot that represented the immediate future (the next two to four weeks), she pulled The Tower. (As you can see from looking at the image below, the image shows a building that is exploding because it is being struck by lighting.)

"Marla," I said. "Things are about to change. Life will never be the same. Sometime in the next two to four weeks everything will be different. The key is to try to ride the storm as best you can. Often things are better in the end, but in the moment, it can be daunting if not downright excruciating."

I was sorry that I had to be so blunt, but I've learned not to question what I need to say. As soon as I question it or try to put my own spin on it, I end up being wrong. If I just say what I feel pulled to say, no matter how strange, it ends up being on the right track.

Moving on...

Three weeks later to the day, I got a voicemail from Marla. "Watch the news tonight," she said. "I'm on it because my house blew up."

What???

It turns out that there was a gas leak. She and her husband just barely managed to get out okay but they lost everything. They were devastated. And that my friends was the Tower working in their lives, quite literally. Generally, it's a more metaphorical explosion that leaves everything changed, but I learned that day that sometimes, it's very, very real.

You might think this is the end of the story. But, remember how I said above that the Tower often leaves you different but better?

Here's the end.

About eight months later, Marla came back in for a reading. She had a very specific question. "Do you think I am a bad person for not being upset that my house blew up?" She asked as we sat down.

"What? No, absolutely not," I replied. "If you've found a way to be okay with this, that's a very good thing."

"Well, see, I'm a packrat," she continued. "And we've been thinking about moving out of the house and into an apartment and I was facing over thirty years of stuff to give away or throw away. But then, the house blew up, and now I get to start completely fresh."

So, there you have it. In the moment, the Tower wrenched them out of everything they new, everything familiar, everything that had been theirs. It gave them a completely blank slate whether or not they wanted one. In the moment, it destroyed everything. In the long run, it gave them a brand new start.

Today, if something huge changes in your life, I encourage you to look at it like an opportunity. In the moment, it might be blindingly painful, yes. In the long run, you will pick yourself up on the farthest shore, and you will be reborn.

(link to the image: http://api.ning.com/files/pxnq-7mondsTDfdkagvuBZV-TjEgdJcY1DQo7ZSc1HGsqxnkNK3lmr8kzkv4eDZW8f5RgrJqyFs0pAEQaLGFlwbN9BmGgA6F/tarotthetower.jpg)

*Names have been changed.

Today's Tarot: The Star (dreams, plans, self-determination)

I chose the Star back on January 10th so if you want to read that write-up and apply it to your life today, please find it here.

Here is today's take on the card.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about how what we do makes us who we are. If you make movies, you are a filmmaker. If you write, you are a writer or an author. If you trade on the stock market, you're a trader. And so on.

We tend to self-identify with what we do. Sure, humans love to categorize. We need to pile likes with likes and then we go a step further and we ascribe value to those various piles. Some end up being deemed more valuable than others. A lawyer or doctor might be deemed as more worthwhile than, say, a writer, or a teacher. And being a lawyer or a doctor might be valued more highly than deciding to spend your life teaching third graders. And my question is, why?

Why do we tend to place those value judgments on professions (Is it just salary? Or is there some other reason?)? And furthermore, why do we let ourselves be judged by what we do?

Having asked these questions, I have to wonder at my own reaction. I have chosen a career (or careers, because I have several going on simultaneously) which will keep in the not-so-important category. At one point, I had thought to become a lawyer (and even got into the law school at American University) but music-making lured me away. And for the most part, I have not regretted the decision. However, there have been times, late at night when I've navel-gazed and wondered about what could have been. I've always come out the other side thinking that I've made the right choices for myself, but it hasn't stopped me from periodically wondering.

The previous has been my own process in thinking about "The Star" card. Generally speaking, I believe the card is about reaching for your dreams while keeping your feet on the ground. So, yes, go for what you want, but be sure you have a solid plan in place to help you get there. In the end, it's about self-determination. Sure, you might choose the road less traveled. And sure, that might make all the difference. And in fact, I personally encourage you to thrown caution to those particular winds today. However, remember making those choices means taking those chances. And being reckless is great as long as you have some plan in place if you fall. Falling isn't the problem. We all fall. And in fact, my friend John said it best when he was talking about skiing. "If you don't fall when you ski, you aren't skiing hard enough." The key is to have a plan to help yourself back up if you fall back down to Earth after you've reached for the stars.

Today's Tarot: Queen of Cups (compassion, tenderness, generosity, creative energy)

Ah, the Queen of Cups is one of my favorite cards in the deck. She represents the compassionate, generous, creative aspect of the deck like few other cards. Not only that, but she reminds us that while we are being compassionate, giving, generous, and tender toward everyone else, not to forget ourselves.

"Sure!" she says. Be kind. Be generous. Be compassionate. Give your heart and attention where they are needed. Absolutely! However, if you're trying to do all that while you are running on empty, you will soon lose all steam and then you'll shut yourself away in a dark room with nothing but Ben and Jerry's and episodes of Supernatural, Friday Night Lights, or General Hospital (insert your guilty pleasure tv watching here) streaming in a continual loop.

Personally, I never want to get to that point where I'm so depleted that I have nothing left to give anyone or anywhere. So the trick is to take care of our needs first. I liken it to when you are on a plane and the flight attendant says, "In the event that we lose cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down. Please put on your own first before assisting others."

That oxygen mask might take many forms. It might be making yourself a healthy fruit smoothie first thing in the morning. It might be making and taking dedicated time for your creativity, or a self-indulgent bubble bath, pedicure, long walk in the rain, or just your favorite tea in your favorite mug.

This Queen is the internal expression of your kindness, generosity, and compassion. It's a great day to show someone special that you care. Oh and that someone special? That's you!

Today's Tarot: Knight of Cups (emotional, imaginative, aware)

Romantic, moody, emotional, compassionate, creative, imaginative, feeling - these all describe the Knight of Cups. Today is a day to really get into how we feel and what it means to be us in our shoes, at this time and in this place. Sometimes, it's easy to know how we feel. When my cat climbs into my lap and drops down for a nap, I am always going to get all squishy and happy, no matter what else has been going on. When someone cuts me off in traffic and then has the nerve to give me the finger afterward, I am always going to get ticked off. Sometimes, on the other hand, it is tough to put our finger on exactly what it is our heart is telling us.

That's when the Knight of Cups really makes his presence felt. He's the one who gives us that information. He gives us permission, if you will, to let go of the run, run, run, and do, do, do, and think, think, think. Instead, he brings in, feel, feel feel, particularly as it pertains to the instant our emotions change. Sometimes, how we feel changes. We've gone from fine to sad or from okay to happy, and we haven't become cognizant of it yet. We are still in reaction mode and haven't moved toward feeling mode. The Knight of Cups holds that instant in his chalice. It is the changing nature of our emotional state that holds sacred. And he invites us to hold it sacred as well. We don't often honor how we feel and we honor the changes in our emotional state even less.

So, today, I invite you to change that paradigm. Honor your feelings and then go a step further. Try to stay aware of when your feelings shift. That quicksilver, fleeting transformation, when and why it happens is chock full of information for us. If we stay aware of how we feel moment to moment, we make better, clearer, cleaner decisions.

Because, honestly, how we feel will change in an instant and often we have to play catch-up just to get some sense of equilibrium. If we stay aware of these things as they happen, we stay one step ahead of the game.

Today, that extra step of being prepared will be very helpful because your mood and the moods of those around you will shift. Big time. Be careful with your heart. Treat it gently and tenderly, and miracles will happen.

Today's Tarot: King of Rods (Bold, active, creating)

Today's Tarot: King of Rods (Bold, active, creating)

The King of Rods doesn't suffer lazybones gladly. In fact, he strides by those who would sit and do nothing as he creates and achieves. In his mind, there are great deeds to accomplish, great things to invent, and great times to be had. He is active dynamism personified. He calls us to rise up, to take action, to do, to move, to run, to fly.

So, what are we waiting for he asks. Do we need an engraved invitation? If so, here it is. Get up, rise up. Do. Something. Today. Right now! If you want it, you have to strive for it. You must begin in order to achieve. That first step might be a kicker but we must take it.

The card is getting to me. I feel its fire sizzling in my blood and frankly, I'm excited to get to it. Earlier this morning, the sky was drab and gray. Then, the fiery sun peeked through the dingy clouds and flung its rays across the heavens, and now it's bathing me in its glorious light. If that isn't a call to get out there and get moving, I don't know what is. We are our best advocates. We are our best warriors. We are our best leaders, movers, shakers, and doers. So, we can be the ones who take inspiration and give it wings.

This write-up reminds me of the lyrics to one of my own songs. The song is called, "Dare to Start." Here is the chorus and it says it all.



I hope you sing and dance and run the race
I hope you take the chance and play the game
No way to finish ‘til you dare to start
So give it all you've got and risk your heart

So, go. Run. Dream. Fly!

Today's Tarot: The Fool (Hope, blank slate, leap of faith)

Today's Tarot: The Fool

(Hope, blank slate, leap of faith)

The Fool is the zero card in the deck. He is the instant before the beginning. He is the spark, the glimmer of the thought. He stands at the edge of the Earth and then joyfully leaps into the void of the unknown.

He is also trusting and innocent. He hasn't been bruised or burned by the world yet. He not only has hope that things will go well, he also has no reason to think they could possibly go otherwise. He  personifies childlike optimism. He simply is that open and hopeful.

The question I need to ask myself right now is, is that wise? Is it wise to be that trusting, that innocent, that hopeful, when all around us there is tragedy and pain? Can anyone retain that sense of joy if she or he also has any awareness sympathy or dare I say it, empathy for the plight of all those around him or her?

If I try to answer that question from my usual somewhat cynical perspective, I say, absolutely not. We are all touched by the patina of suffering all around us whether or not we like it and whether or not we can help it. And so, we are stuck in the much, as it were. Because, how can we maintain a sense of joy if anyone out there is suffering at the same time?

The less cynical and more fool-like part of me says that this is the exact time to maintain that sense of hope, joy, and optimism. The moment we least feel that spark is the moment to most try for it. The best way to do that? Be kind. Find the space inside yourself to forgive the person who just cut you off. Let go of your need to tell of the woman bullied her way in front of you at the store. Relax and breathe when you are waiting for twenty minutes to get served because the person who is supposed to be helping you is spending all his time trying to make time with the hottie currently sitting at the bar. We don't know these people's lives and so ultimately what we're seeing is just one slide in a huge and diverse slide show.

The Fool asks us to take that slide and then let it slide. They, those people, are the sum of their parts. We're just seeing the tip of their live's iceberg and so can't possibly know what they are actually going through that makes them behave how they do.

The best we can do is to make a difference with how we react, how we think, and what we do. With the Fool working in our lives today, we can start at ground zero and make it all go beautifully.

I am reminded about two stories. The first is the one about the starfish. Thousands of starfish have beached on shore. A man walking along the beach sighs sadly but continues on his way. Far in the distance, he sees a figure dancing. As he approaches he realize that the young man isn't dancing. Rather, he is picking up a starfish one at a time and placing it back in the water. "Young man," the stranger says. "What are you doing? You can't possibly save them all. In the end, it won't make any difference." The young man pauses in what he was doing for a minute and then reaches down, picks up another starfish and places it in the water. He straightens, turns to the stranger and says, "It made a difference to that one."

http://youtu.be/2gXaMnkmGq0

Another story is from Joss Whedon's show Angel. 

If nothing we do matters, than the only thing that matters is what we do ... If there's no bigger meaning, then a single act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.

And the best part? If you tried it before and you fell short, the Fool gives you all the permission the world to start over, to try again, and to get it right. That's the beauty of the zero card. It always comes back to where it started and let's you keep trying and keep going.

To quote the amazing Pema Chodron, "Start where you are."