Friday, May 16, 2014

Conquering fear with purpose and on purpose

Nowadays, I tend to get over my fears through will power. And here's why. 

About 24 years ago or so, my father was building a big ol' house in MI. I went to visit and the place still very much under construction. There was a huge, tall, steep staircase sort of in the middle of the space. It led to the bedroom suite as I recall. Now, the staircase wasn't built yet. It was a bunch of nailed two by fours. To see the upstairs, we had to climb them. I got up just fine, but when it came time to head back down, I stared at the rickety-looking two by fours and my head swam. Because of the way I'm shaped, I can't really see my feet so I was going to have to walk down those "stairs" blind, as it were. I got too scared and instead turned around and crawled on hands and feet down the steps. Then, we went around the rest of the space. I was okay, but the thought that those two by fours had beaten me kept buzzing around inside my head. Right as we were about to leave, I made the decision. I ran back into the house and up the stairs. I steeled myself and I walked down those rickety two by fours with purpose and on purpose. I still remember the feeling of conquering that fear. It was glorious.

Now, whenever I am afraid, I think of that moment, that decision, that in some ways changed everything for me. And when I do, my fears cower before me. I like that.

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