Finding Strength In Weakness

My thoughts this morning turn to finding strength in my weakness.

I was working with clients over the weekend. One of them talked about how he felt weak and that he wanted to go back and be strong how he used to be.

I said, "Wait, don't try to go backward to find that strength. Look forward to the strength you will find as you move through this time of weakness. That is where we find our strength, when we feel the most weak and vulnerable. We have to go through each step, good and bad, in order to find ourselves."

Then, I talked to them about my violin. It is an old instrument, from 1872. I have owned it since I was nine years old. It had a beautiful sound. About 20 years ago, I was walking with it down a flight of stone steps. I stumbled. It fell and cracked. My heart broke along with it. I took it to Violin House of Weaver (now Potter's Violins), which is one of the best Violin Houses in the world. 

"We'll take care of it," they promised. "You won't be able to tell the difference."

I had my doubts but I left it with them. In the meantime, to prepare for upcoming gigs a friend was kind enough to lend me his violin while mine was being repaired.

During that time, burglars broke into our house and stole a bunch of stuff. They stole my friend's violin. We tried in vain to find it at local pawn shops, but we never did. Luckily, we had insurance and while we weren't able to retrieve his violin, we were at least able to get him money for it. I still feel badly about that, but there was nothing we could have done to prevent it.

Meanwhile, my violin was still being repaired. In my heart of hearts, I knew it would never sound the way it had. I knew it would forever be broken, but I waited it out until the day came to go pick it up.

"Play it," the man behind the counter encouraged me.

I ran the bow across the strings and it was magic! The instrument sounded better than it had before.

"How did you do that?" I asked as I put my lovely violin away.

"The glue we use now works with the fibers of the wood on a molecular level," he replied. "It fills the cracks perfectly and then vibrates with them the way the wood itself would. Like a broken bone, where it was shattered will now be stronger than before. You lost monetary value when you dropped it, but you haven't lost the instrument."

I thanked him, and I left. 

It was only much later that I realized that if I hadn't dropped the violin, I would indeed have lost it and sooner than I thought. If it hadn't been in the shop when it was, it would have been the violin stolen when the burglars broke in. Instead, I still have it and played it just yesterday.

So now, when things fall apart, I remember my violin and how the moment it broke was the moment it was saved. 

And then, I breathe.

http://www.med.navy.mil/sites/nmcphc/Documents/health-promotion-wellness/psychological-emotional-wellbeing/Combat-Tactical-Breathing.pdf 

Be the Change You Want to See In Yourself

A friend posted the following quote, and I wrote the below in reaction.
--quote--
"Perhaps the source of your discontent lies in your attachment to how things should be instead of accepting how things are.”

--my response--
On many levels, I agree (that whole "be zen and accept where you are thing," yeah, that would be cool). On others, not so much. I feel like agitation or discontentment with what is often make for progress. When I don't like what is, I change it. If do nothing, then I (on some level) become part of the problem.

Now that I'm thinking about it ... yes, there are times when other people are involved that I land in positions where I can't do anything. I've said for a long time that you can't make someone feel something they don't. You can't make them love you. You can't make them feel sympathy for you. You can't make them feel sorry if they hurt you and don't feel sorry for having done so. But, when it is your life or your path you are discontented with, yeah, I think you have a responsibility to yourself to kick your own butt and make the changes you need to make to make things better. I have been going back to that one sentence I read recently that has made things so much more clear and accessible to me. "What is one thing I can do right now to improve my situation?" It might not fix things completely. It might not make a huge difference in the moment. But even a tiny action now can lead to a great shift later.

To me, that's critical.

I believe in those tiny shifts. I believe in becoming aware of patterns. I believe that the smallest action can be revolutionary if it changes how I perceive things because it will ultimately change I see the world and how I behave in it.

So that means I claim responsibility for myself. And that I'm at peace with.

Learn (to) Find Joy (in) Solitude

Eight of Pentacles (reversed), Ten of Cups, The Hermit

Sometimes, we think we know it all and other times we realize just how much else we have to learn. This week's cards give a little of both. Here we go...

The Eight of Pentacles is the card of the student. This doesn't necessarily mean going to school in the formal way, though it can. It can also mean keeping ourselves open to learning what the world around us has to teach us. If I use my own life as an example, I am one of the least zen people you will ever meet. I have little tolerance for either being put down or seeing others get put down, and I have no tolerance whatsoever for deliberate cruelty. If you are being deliberately cruel either to me or in a situation where I am a witness, be prepared to be called out on it. Life is too short to waste feeling bad because of someone else's thoughtless words or actions. So, the Eight of Pentacles tells us that either we need to learn the lesson of chilling out and not taking what other people say so seriously (the more zen way) or we need to learn the lesson standing up for ourselves (the not-so-zen way [and yes, I know I'm over-simplifying zen here. So, please don't rake me over the coals here.). Either way, the lesson is ours. Someone well versed in zen might say something along the lines of, we each have a path full of lessons. How do we know that the person who is being put down isn't supposed to learn the lesson of how to respond to these words or more importantly how to practice detachment from the harsh words of others? We don't know, but that isn't the point. Often, the only thing we do know is that in the moment, our feelings (or others' feelings) are hurt and we need to deal with immediate situation. Practicing detachment comes later. Monday or Tuesday of this week you will get an opportunity to practice detachment from someone's thoughtless words. Try, really try to remember that they have no real clue what they are saying. Treat them like a "me now" five-year-old and it will be much easier to handle.

Wednesday and Thursday will bring a blossoming joy. The Ten of Cups provides us with an opportunity to just enjoy the heck out of ourselves (particularly at home or with family). At first, it won't seem like fun, but trust me, once you get into it, it will be. Here's another tidbit from my own life. A few months ago, I attended a convention. I was seated at dinner next to someone I didn't know but I had seen him present on a topic at the convention. He was not a good presenter. He tried but did not really know how to connect with us; he didn't seem like someone you could easily talk to. And remembering that, I felt hesitant to sit next to him. I had already prejudged him and that would be to my shame because holy moly, he was fabulous! Once we got to talking, it turned out that we had a ton a in common, similar backgrounds, a deep mutual interest in folk and ancient musical traditions, and mythology. We had a fantastic and enjoyable conversation and I look very forward to seeing him again at the next convention in December. So, when the opportunity comes, even if it seems like it won't be all that, do it, go for it, try it. You'll like it.

Friday and Saturday will bring some time for repose. Take it! The Hermit provides the opportunity for solitary pondering. And you need it. Heck, we all need it. We all need down time in order to find out, well, just about everything. Want to know your next step? Spend time daydreaming. Want to know which way to go? Spend time reviewing your options. Granted, you could talk it over with others, but that will likely shush the voice that is most important in this scenario. And that's your inner voice. That's the one that most needs to be heard. Spend time in solitude and you will hear it. Once you know the path, you get to go do it. And that is just fabulous.